Because of Him Read online

  A quick glance in her direction let me catch her odd expression. She wanted to trust me.

  “I’m taking you to the movies,” I announced a little late. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  There was a pause and I thought I caught a hint of a smile.

  “That’s cool. It feels like forever since I’ve left campus.” She laughed a little. “Except for the bar and…” She didn’t need to mention the drunken night at the underground fight.

  When we arrived, surprisingly, Reagan admitted that she hadn’t been to a movie in a while and wanted me to pick. After careful consideration, I chose a franchise movie with lots of comical and action-type moments.

  With limited restaurant options afterwards, we sat in a popular food chain, eating mediocre food, but talked about everything and nothing. Her smile was infectious and I did my best to make her laugh.

  “You look surprised,” she commented.

  “I am. I wasn’t expecting much, but it tastes better than I thought.” I indicated the half of a steak left on my plate.

  “It is good.” She’d ordered steak as well.

  “I’m more surprised you really liked the movie.”

  “What’s wrong with X-Men?”

  “Nothing,” I replied.

  “Oh, I see. You thought I’d prefer a chick flick.”

  I shrugged, unable to deny that.

  Her eyes were full of mischief but I let my gaze fall to her lips as she spoke. “I’m not that selfish. I don’t have a need to show my feminine power by daring you to go to a movie you wouldn’t enjoy. Besides, I enjoyed it. It was a lot funnier than I expected.”

  Little did she know the feminine power she wielded over me. I wanted her with a quiet desperation. I managed to keep the conversation on track.

  “What’s not to love about action heroes? But I don’t have a problem with romantic comedies.”

  “Really?”

  I cut into the steak as I spoke. “Yeah. For example I liked Bridesmaids. In fact, I thought it was a hell of a lot funnier than The Hangover.”

  We watched a lot of Netflix while living in the dorms.

  “That movie was hilarious.” She paused. “Can I ask you a question?”

  By her tone, I wasn’t sure I wanted her to. I nodded.

  “You have a slight British accent, yet your mannerisms and certain things you say are all American.”

  In the past, I would have deflected the question, not wanting to reveal myself. With her, I wanted to share.

  “I was born here and attended school here until secondary. That’s when I moved to England with my parents near where my mom grew up.”

  I watched her expression, caring for the first time what someone outside of my family thought of me.

  “Wow, I bet that was different.”

  It was. Only she was different from any woman I’d hung out with. I tried not to focus on her red-stained lips. They had my cock throbbing. I did a gut check because for once I wanted to know the woman, not just possess her.

  I threw the ball into her court. “How about you?”

  “I grew up here, of course, with my parents. Not very interesting.”

  Something told me she was more interesting than she thought. I hadn’t yet scratched the surface of what I wanted to know about her life. But I had my own secrets about my family that I wasn’t ready to reveal. I didn’t press her for more information.

  After dinner, I purposely parked in the lot attached to the townhouses. I steered her past my door and headed in the direction of her dorms. I wasn’t ready to let her go, so I added the walk for more time.

  When we arrived, she turned unfathomable eyes on me. She leaned against the frame with the door gaping open. A wealth of warm air blew out, shaking off the chill that reminded us it was still winter.

  “I had a good night.” She glanced down, her shyness returning.

  I shoved my hands into my pockets, fearing what they might do on their own. I wasn’t going there, no matter what my dick wanted.

  “Goodnight,” I offered as I began walking backward.

  “I’m surprised.”

  “What?” I paused.

  “You’re not going to try, are you?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe this is me making my move.” I felt the smirk return, liking that I’d puzzled her.

  “I don’t know if I should be offended you didn’t at least try to kiss me.”

  Just when I thought I’d pegged her, she surprised me. I wasn’t sure if that was a dare in her expression as she stood waiting for my response.

  I took a chance and moved forward, taking my hands out of my front pockets and shoving them in my back. If she tasted as good as she looked, I might use them.

  Her eyes flashed, as she pressed a hand to my chest. “That wasn’t an invitation.”

  I leaned down, reminded of how tiny she really was. My hair, which had grown too long, fell in front of my eyes, but I kept my hands in place when I pressed my lips to hers. They were warm, and she hadn’t pulled back, despite her protest. More than wanting her between my sheets, I wanted to know her taste. I snaked out my tongue and got a burst of sweetness, like wild strawberries, and my dick strained against my zipper. I pulled back, not trusting myself, and took tentative steps backward.

  “Come sailing with me tomorrow.”

  “Sailing?” Panic spoiled her mystified expression. “I don’t really like the water.”

  I lifted a brow. “You do know our school sits right by the water.”

  Her smile was weak. “Yes. But—”

  “And our school is number two in the country in sailing.” I’d surprised her again. “Don’t answer now. Meet me at the dock at seven tomorrow morning.”

  She frowned.

  “Seven,” I said again. “Otherwise I’ll know this didn’t work out for you and I’ll leave you alone.”

  I strode away, pretty sure she’d show up.

  15

  PAST

  Pride was something I’d lost along the way. Dignity also had no business in my new reality. When he came back, I would position myself in the middle of the floor on my knees, head bowed like I’d been told.

  I would fight the urge to cringe in order to avoid another punishment. I didn’t want to let another stranger force me to, as they said, suck him dry as he felt me up.

  Twenty sponge baths couldn’t make me feel clean again, not even a hundred.

  As the days passed, I’d also lost hope that I’d be found. But I lacked the energy to fight. Last night they’d given me something in my food. My vision had gone wonky and I’d felt weird.

  Later, when I was told to dance and strip, I’d done as asked. Other voices were in the room, but I hadn’t cared.

  I’d woken up sick to my stomach. The room smelled of vomit and pee, all my own making.

  I prayed I wouldn’t be punished for the mess.

  Despite how tired I felt, when the locks moved, I fell into position.

  “Nice pet,” Kyle said, stroking the top of my head.

  He’d spoken so nicely, when he tipped up my head, I wasn’t afraid, as he sounded much like the boy I’d crushed on. The memory forced me to lose the battle with my emotions and a tear to spill down my cheek against my will.

  “Why are you crying, pet?”

  Against my better judgments, I answered. “I want to go home.”

  He laughed and I felt stupid at my admission.

  “There’s no going home.” He tossed something he’d been holding on the naked mattress. “The best you can hope for is that you’ll be bought tonight. If not—” he shrugged, “—you’ll be passed to the men several times until you have no more use.”

  A silent river flowed from my eyes. Instead of seeing an opportunity for escape, I saw my will crumbling under the weight of being raped, repeatedly. So far, I’d escaped that.

  “I’ll give you a bit of advice. There are two types of men who will bid on you tonight. The ones who like them young, and those that like to caus
e pain. If I were you, I’d try to look as young as possible. But…” He paused and waited until I stared up into his eyes. “If you don’t make yourself valuable in their eyes, I’ll fuck you raw and then give you to the men.”

  Gone was the boy, and the horrible man shaped his features. I choked out a sob before I remembered what happened if I cried out. Mine weren’t the only screams heard in the night.

  16

  REAGAN

  A nightmare woke me up, almost tearing a scream from my chest. I searched the darkness and found a midnight sky out my window.

  The time on my phone read a little after six a.m. I stumbled out of my room feeling like my walls were closing in on me. I made more noise than I wanted to as I fumbled for lights.

  I’d gotten a bottle of water out of the fridge when Megan scooted out her door.

  “Are you okay?”

  Had I screamed or did she wake because of the noise I made?

  “I’m good. Sorry if I woke you up.”

  She rubbed at sleepy eyes and yawned. “Are you going sailing?”

  Suddenly, her eyes were focused as she waited for my response.

  “I probably shouldn’t. I have some studying to do.”

  She gave me a sad smile. “Is that you or your mother talking?” A little bit of both. “If you’re scared, I’ll go with you.”

  I was scared. At the same time, I was tired of being so. If I let this beat me, I might as well check myself into a residential psych ward.

  “It’s not that.”

  “If he wants some, just say no. It’s not like he’s hurting for willing girls. If he turns out to be a douchebag, use some of those fancy moves you learned. Didn’t you tell me you took self-defense classes?”

  I had. That had been a compromise I made with Mom so she would let me go to school. We took refresher courses every summer. Dad was happiest after those classes. Mom seemed to settle down when we were given a stamp of completion.

  “It’s just—”

  The sound of my phone had us both sighing. No one would be calling me this early except for one person.

  “Hi Mom.”

  “Rae. I had a bad dream.”

  I almost admitted that I’d had one too.

  “I’m fine. I’m talking to Megan.”

  “Did you two girls pull an all-nighter?”

  Her tone didn’t suggest what the best answer was. If I said yes, would that bother her more than if I said no?

  “No, I just woke up early.”

  “I think you should stay home today. I just have a bad feeling.”

  If I had a dime for all her bad feelings I would be a rich recluse.

  “Mom, I love you. Where is Dad?”

  “Sleeping,” she snapped. “Why is it you always dismiss me?”

  “I’m not trying to. I’m just—” Worried, but there was no way I could say that. “I just don’t like the idea of you being lonely.”

  Her tone softened. “That’s sweet of you, honey. But your dad is sleeping. And I’ll be fine if you promise to stay home today or if you want, we can come for a visit.”

  Tade had been spot-on about my small acts of defiance, starting with the extra earring. Mom had nearly convulsed when I came home on winter break with it. She wouldn’t understand the streaks of pink that highlighted my hair. I would need Megan to help me dye it back before I saw her again.

  I closed my eyes. “Okay, I’ll stay in. There’s no need for you and Dad to make the trip. I have so much to do.”

  17

  TADE

  Seven had come and gone. I was in the process of releasing the last of the ropes where I’d temporarily docked my boat when from a distance I caught sight of someone running toward me waving a hand.

  After Reagan caught her breath, she said, “Sorry I’m late. I thought I missed you.”

  “Almost,” I said nonchalantly, holding out a hand to help her on board.

  That was when I spotted movement and an unmistakable sound of a camera.

  “What was that?”

  She already seemed skittish. The last thing I wanted to do was tell her that most likely someone had taken our picture. As it was, I would have to break the news to my mother via text just in case. Whoever had found me, I didn’t yet know their motive. Were they looking for the son of a senator, or bastard son of a convicted felon on death row, or both?

  Once she was on board, I took her to a bench at the bow of the boat to hide her from whoever had found me. Then I raised the mainsail with the halyard before casting off, trying to find the good mood I’d lost when I thought she wasn’t coming. Add to that the asshole with an agenda in the form of a camera.

  The weather had been chaotic the last few weeks, with highs and lows out of the normal range. Today, it played nice and there was a promise of abnormal warmth.

  I moved about, leaving her to enjoy the brightening sky. Into the open bay, I manned the wheel until I found a quiet spot to drop anchor. The sky turned bright. I dropped the halyards and cruised to a stop before I did so.

  She stood and I took in her white shorts and white button-down shirt with sleeves rolled up to her elbows. “It’s pretty out here.”

  “From where I’m standing it is,” I admitted.

  The sky may have been painted with even blue strokes and no hint of anything to mar the color. But it was the red of her lips that held all my attention. “Are you hungry?”

  She appeared thoughtful for a moment. “I guess I am.”

  Before I betrayed my need to kiss her again, I said, “I can show you the cabin below.”

  She hadn’t let the edges of the bench go. Her knuckles were white under the strain.

  Her head shook and I let it be. Clearly she was frightened. I gave her credit for trusting me. I wouldn’t press my luck. I went below deck to get the blanket and basket of food I’d stowed earlier.

  To my surprise, after the rocking caused by my movement stopped, she helped me spread out the blanket. Her grin was hesitant but infectious.

  I wanted to taste her again, feast on her lips as she sat patiently while I got out our breakfast of fresh strawberries, grapes and pineapples. Then I took out two individual containers of plain Greek yogurt to dip with.

  “I would have never pegged you for a yogurt guy.”

  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

  She nodded and then used a fork to dig into the fruit. I brought out a couple of pastries, donuts and croissants, not knowing what she’d like. I added some cheese slices to the spread as well.

  She ended the silence. “Tell me why you love sailing.”

  I finished my bite before answering. “My dad loves to sail. When I moved to England, he taught me and I haven’t looked back.”

  “Do you prefer rowing over sailing?”

  So she’d remembered that I rowed for the school.

  “Not exactly. I enjoy them both, for different reasons.” Changing the subject, I asked, “How about you? Do you play any sports?”

  A look of horror crossed her face. “Oh no, not me.” Her head continued to shake or maybe that was a shudder that ran through her.

  “Why not?” I was amused by her answer.

  “I’m more of an indoorsy person.”

  We ate some more until she took another stab at conversation. I’d been happy just watching her blush under my stare.

  “You know what we haven’t talked about?”

  I lifted a brow in question.

  “What’s your major?”

  She had me. “Don’t judge me based on my answer.”

  “Try me,” she offered, putting a strawberry in her mouth. Could you be jealous of a fruit? I wanted to be in her mouth.

  “Economics, though I’m taking a pre-law track.”

  She tapped her chin. Why did she keeping drawing my attention to her kissable mouth? “Do you plan to be a senator one day?”

  Did I want to follow the path of my dad and his dad before him?

  “I’m not sure. Mayb
e. You?”

  Her posture straightened. “Criminal justice with a minor in international studies of language and culture.”

  I popped a strawberry in my mouth. “I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting that.”

  Her hair slid down to shield the side of her face, before she tilted to give me a curious look. “What were you expecting?”

  “I don’t know. Science or math. I figured after that boating project…”

  She laughed, pointing a grape at me that was pinched between her index finger and thumb. “Okay, you have me there. But after analyzing me the other night, you could double as a psych major.”

  “So I was right?”

  There was that shy smile that hit me in the chest every time.

  “Maybe.”

  We managed to eat all the fruit and yogurt. A half of a croissant was left, and all the donuts and pastries were untouched. As I began to pack it all up, she asked, “When did you get all this stuff?”

  “I have my ways.” I winked at her and set the basket on the other side of me, leaving nothing but the empty blanket between us.

  She lay there with a bit of yogurt at the corner of her mouth. It was too late to stop myself. I scooted over and tangled my fingers in her hair, pushing it from her face. My arm brushed her soft breast.

  “Wait,” she said, holding up a finger.

  Before she could warn me off, I admitted my mistake. “I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

  She glanced down at her chest, rolling her lip inward to gently bite at it.

  “I believe you. But I just want to be clear that I’m not going to sleep with you.”

  “I should hope not. It’s too great of a sailing day to sleep away this warm weather.”

  She grinned and it was the prettiest thing I’d seen in a long while.

  “You know what I mean.”

  She had to be a virgin for all the roadblocks she kept hinting at. That meant giving up on the idea of getting between her thighs. I wasn’t as disappointed as I thought I would be.

  I sighed. “I won’t lie and say it hasn’t crossed my mind. But I’m also content just to hang out with you.”