Because of Him Read online

  “I warned you.”

  Fear was a consummate teacher. I got to my knees and begged. He hadn’t gone through with taking my ass virginity, or so he’d called it. A couple of fingers up there taught me that I didn’t want to go through that ever.

  “Please Sir. I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

  Kyle’s ugly smile made him appear almost like the boy I’d met.

  He rubbed my head. “That’s a girl. But you still have to be punished.”

  Another man came through the door.

  “Is she ready?”

  “Not yet. She needs to be taught a lesson.”

  When he’d spoken that time, his American accent dropped and matched the other man’s. I hadn’t heard a lot of accents in my short life, but if I were to guess, he sounded Russian.

  12

  TADE

  Dumbly, I stared at two news headlines on my phone. One was about my Dad’s bid for presidency. The other was about my father’s upcoming execution. Two different men who’d played a role in my identity. One gave me life. The other taught me how to live it.

  I thought again about Mom’s offer to get me in to see my father. The only question I had for him that continued to churn in my gut was about my mother.

  He’d told me years ago that he’d met her while on vacation on the island. That was odd as his mother, my grandmother, lived in a trailer. She claimed she’d never left the U.S. Though, he’d taken up with the wrong side of the law long before he’d gotten out of high school. He would have had the money to go on his own. What puzzled me about his story was that he said she showed up with me months later and then took off.

  My father wasn’t the kind to love them—he was the kind to leave them before dawn hit. I couldn’t imagine that if his story was to be believed, he would have given her a way to contact him.

  So what was the real story? Mom had tried to track down my bio mother using the birth certificate my father had kindly passed along. But the private detective she’d hired came up short. What he’d learned was that she’d been labeled missing or a possible runaway. He’d also discovered that her parents had passed away—one from cancer, and the other from a broken heart by all accounts.

  My father knew more than he was telling. Was she somehow involved in his illegal activities?

  The thought made me sick. I’d seen the things done on that boat. My father traveled a lot down the coast. If it wasn’t for Dad, I might not have fallen in love with the water after what happened on the boats I’d been on before they took me in.

  Gavin pushed my door open, taking me out of my thoughts. I noticed a change in him. For the past week, since our run-in with the girls, he’d been acting strange and aloof. The only thing I could get out of him was that he and the brunette were over.

  “You in?”

  I got up and we headed out. My week had been hell. I had several papers to turn in and between that and practice, I hadn’t had much free time. I was itching to do something to get off the computer and out of my head.

  We ended up near the bonfire that raged in the center of the empty field. “What happened?” I asked point blank.

  When I did ask, I was usually straightforward.

  “She’s not for me.” His gaze was fixed and I knew the target well.

  “Then why are you staring at her?”

  The plastic cup crushed in his hand and he tossed it dead center into the bin that was nearby. “When you admit you’ve got it bad for her friend, we can have sharing time.” He paused for a second before he added, “This party blows.”

  He walked off and I let him be with his sour mood. I watched as his frown burned away when a cute girl stopped to talk to him. He may have fooled her, but his eyes kept darting to the brunette and the guy she was animatedly talking to.

  He was right about the party. I wasn’t in the mood for a hookup. Practice would be in full swing soon, and I planned an early start for my workout in the morning. So I turned to walk away when someone stopped me.

  “Tade.”

  I took in Biscuit. Every time I saw her, she stole my breath. And because of that, I should run. She had some kind of power over me and my body responded with need.

  “Biscuit.” I feigned indifference, but I was anything but.

  Her blue eyes turned to gold in the flaming light. “Why do you insist on calling me that?”

  “Because you refuse to tell me your name.” My tone was flat, bored-like.

  She turned away, leaving me cold from the lack of heat her stare created. When she faced me again, her ruby lower lip was caught between her teeth. I’d just about given up on whatever she wanted when she said, “I should apologize for the other night.”

  I quirked a brow, silently pressing her to go on.

  “I judged you unfairly.” She studied her feet and mumbled to the ground. “She told me some of it and I remember some of it on my own.”

  Her hand dropped where she’d pointed in the direction of the brunette. I let her fidget and continued to say nothing.

  “I was wrong about accusing you. I remember how you took care of me and never once tried anything inappropriate.”

  She had the power to slay me and I couldn’t allow it. Better to end this conversation and move on. My head was on straight. The last thing I needed was to get involved with anyone.

  “Is that all?”

  She seemed taken aback by my response. “No.” She paused, considering her words, but only said, “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I began to walk away.

  “And that’s it?” she called after me.

  I knew I should keep moving, but I turned anyway. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Aren’t I fulfilling your expectations of me?”

  She fired back, “It was wrong of me to judge you without even knowing you. And I think you’re an honorable guy.”

  I tightened my jaw and moved forward. I leaned down so she wouldn’t miss a word I was about to say. “You had me pegged correctly all along. Right now, all I can think about is the color of your underwear and how long it will take to get it off you. I want to fuck you in the worst way and only once. Because after I do, the fantasy of you being beneath me will disappear and I’ll move on.”

  She jerked back as if I’d slapped her. Good, maybe she’ll leave well enough alone.

  “I don’t believe that.” Her gaze held mine, daring me to refute her statement.

  I ended up being the first one to look away. I found her chest and gave it the perusal I’d wanted to since she first said something. Her breasts were round and more than a handful. If it hadn’t been so dark, would I have seen her nipples hard and firm in anticipation of my touch? I had to dump ice water on both of us. “Yes you do. Your instincts are spot-on. I’m not into girlfriends.”

  “Who said I wanted a boyfriend?” Her retort came like a snap of a rubber band.

  “I call bullshit.” I glared at her, needing her to back down and back off. The fact that I remained to verbally spar with her said that she had me. And I couldn’t have that.

  Her eyes narrowed as she moved a hand to her hip.

  “Try me.”

  Her challenge was as good as accepted. Fuck. What was I thinking? I couldn’t let that happen. She was a temptation I didn’t need. I had to do something to stop myself from breaking rule number two: keep things casual.

  “You want me to screw you? All you had to do was ask.” I reached for her but she stepped back. “I didn’t think so.”

  Disappointment crept over her beautiful face. She stubbornly lifted her chin. “Maybe I was wrong about you. I thought…”

  I hated the way she looked at me. I didn’t want to be that guy, at least not with her. But I couldn’t give her what she deserved, so I went with assholery 101.

  “I have nothing to prove. Hell, you’re practically panting.” I let my gaze fall to her heaving chest to make a point. “I bet you’re already wet for me.” If I’d hoped my vulgar words would dissuade her, it worked.

 
Before she turned away, obstinately, she said, “You’ve made me a true believer, and here I thought maybe you were different. Maybe…”

  I was going to hell. I took a step forward, snagging her arm. “Maybe what?”

  Eyes in an unreadable face glared at me. I let her go, but as much as I should have left well enough alone, I couldn’t.

  In a rule-breaking move, I gave into the pull she had on me.

  “Go out with me.”

  If I second-guessed myself the moment the words popped out of my mouth, the genuine smile and laugh she gave me removed any doubt. It had been worth it.

  “Did we not establish I’m not your type?”

  “That’s the problem. I don’t have a type. If I did, it would be you. I like that you’re smart, stubborn, and a pain in my ass. And I want to know you as much as I want you to figure out I’m not the guy you think I am.”

  Had I just admitted that? Rule breaker, she was.

  Her gaze searched mine. “And what would we do on a date?”

  That word had given me hives in the past. From her lips though, it sounded like the best thing ever.

  “Where would we go on this hypothetical date?” she repeated.

  “Say yes and you’ll find out.”

  She glanced at her nails before looking up at me. “Okay. Yes.”

  13

  REAGAN

  The soft knock came as I read a book in bed.

  “Come in.”

  Megan walked in and propped herself on the side of my bed.

  “I saw you talking to Tade. Did you finally give in?”

  She’d been with some guy when I walked home with another group of girls that were more Megan’s friends than mine.

  “I apologized.”

  “Uh huh. What else? You guys talked for quite a while.”

  “He may have asked me out.”

  “And…”

  Going against the stranger-danger instincts ingrained in me, I’d taken the plunge. My therapist thought it healthy if I make friends outside of Megan, who was the only one so far I’d let into my inner circle. Not that she’d given me much of a choice. But I loved her for it. She’d drawn me out of my shell.

  “I said yes.”

  She yipped and crawled over to give me a big hug.

  “I feel like a proud mama.”

  Her response was another reason I’d given in. I’d never been on a date before; homeschooling certainly hadn’t helped. I’d had a few outside classes growing up, but I’d given off a vibe of stay away from me or I’d used words to convey the same.

  Tade had proven himself. He wasn’t the scary guy I’d feared. Mom would probably have to be sedated if she found out. Boundaries. I was entitled to my secrets. As long as I was safe, she had nothing to worry about. And between my Swiss Army knife and a small bottle of pepper spray, I was more than prepared for some dangers that lurked in the world.

  “What about you and Gavin?”

  She waved that question away. “We shall no longer speak of him.”

  “But—”

  Shaking her head, she cut me off. “I should warn you that Jenny’s been in my ear. It’s like suddenly I’m her best friend.”

  Jenny was a very pretty Asian girl who could have been a Victoria’s Secret model. She had serious curves and a slender frame to make it all work.

  “Anyway—” She pushed her hair over her shoulder. “She wants me to warn you about Tade.”

  It was the last thing I wanted to hear. I closed my eyes, wondering if I’d made a mistake.

  “She says be careful because he’ll only bang you and leave you hanging. But I don’t believe her.”

  When I raised one eyebrow, she amended her statement. “Okay, so he’s probably a player. But I think for him you’re different.”

  “Once a player, always a player.”

  “If that were true, no actor or quarterback in the NFL would ever get married. There’s always one girl that can change their ways.” She waggled a finger at me. “You’re it. I see it in the way he looks at you. Plus Gavin even said as much.”

  “I thought we weren’t mentioning his name.”

  “Yeah, forget I said it. Forget him.”

  I pointed my finger at her. “You still like him.”

  “Temptation is overrated,” she said by way of answer.

  “So he’s tempting you.”

  “I’m not going there. Besides, you and I have more important things to consider.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Like, what you’re going to wear?”

  “Clothes.”

  It was a mystery why girls got so worked up over dressing to impress.

  “You can’t wear just clothes. This is a calculated move. You need to make his jaw drop, but also put the brakes on him thinking he’s getting any.”

  “I think I’ve made it very clear that I’m not that type of girl.”

  She sighed. “You are a work in progress. I have much to teach you. Let’s explore your closet so I can explain.”

  14

  TADE

  The plan was to meet near the parking lot. She hadn’t wanted me to pick her up. She arrived on time wearing tight jeans and a dark top that plunged low, but not low enough. I was slack-jawed. The jacket she wore hid the rest. It was a smart move with the weather heading away from the spring like temps back to true winter.

  “Hi,” she said shyly, biting her lip.

  Focusing on her blues eyes, I answered, “Hey.” I gave her another once-over before I asked, “You ready?”

  She nodded. I had to wonder if she’d purposefully hidden herself under layers of clothes, so I wouldn’t have access. She was making this hard, and fuck me, I was hard. Her jeans gave me a great view of her curves. Little did she know that just because she wasn’t wearing a dress didn’t mean I couldn’t get under her skin.

  “My car is over here.” I held out a hand to indicate the direction and let it fall to the small of her back when she moved that way.

  She didn’t bat an eye when I opened the door to my Ghibli Maserati. She sank into the red leather seat and damn if she didn’t look good there. I wondered how she would feel if she realized she was the first girl from school to ride in my car.

  I pulled out onto the road and turned on a satellite radio station to play in the background.

  Though I did have something I wanted to know. “Can you tell me why brunette dumped my friend?”

  From my periphery, fiery eyes turned in my direction though I kept mine on the road. “The brunette has a name. It’s Megan.”

  My ploy worked. I just needed her to tell me her name. “Megan,” I repeated. “Why did she dump Gavin?”

  “Who said she did the dumping?”

  Had I come to the wrong conclusion? Gavin looked ruined, but he wasn’t talking.

  “Biscuit,” I said again, hoping to get a rise out of her.

  She held up a hand. “This question probably should have come sooner, but why me?”

  It was like I was caught with my pants down; embarrassment colored my face. I opened my mouth to speak, but the cotton white of her eyes held a note of disapproval, preventing me from interrupting her. I focused back on the road.

  “I’m not a one-night stand walking. Is it simply because I’m the one girl unwilling to give you the time of day?”

  Properly chastised, I still felt slightly smug.

  “You’re like Odysseus’s siren.” What I didn’t say was that she’d made an impression the first time I’d noticed her. She invaded my thoughts ever since.

  Her laugh was dry. “Nice line by the way. Original. Are you an English major?”

  “No, I’m not. And…that wasn’t a line,” I snapped, realizing too late that somewhere along the way it had become important what she thought of me.

  Something else struck me. I didn’t think that compliments would break her impenetrable shell. Honesty was the key with a girl like her.

  “It’s been you since that night at the b
ar. I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

  I’d already said too much, giving my hand away. Yet I found myself lost on an island of need, peering through a telescope, searching for that one blinking light to let me know when a ship was approaching. She was that ship destined to save me…or wreck me. I could feel fate sinking in her claws. No woman had ever made me want the way she did. I had to admit that I longed to know her in a way that was painful and bone deep. I hoped by the end, I could walk away unscathed.

  Her hand lifted to her mouth then dropped back to her lap. I had an unobstructed view of her lovely face. I snapped my attention back to the road before I killed us both, because I wanted to know her taste with an aching need.

  She glanced down, allowing her hair to create a wall between us. “You don’t even know me.”

  “I know you keep one side of your hair tucked behind your ear to reveal a tiny hoop earring pierced halfway down the curve of your ear. The piercing is most likely an act of defiance against your traditionally minded parents. You reveal it to show you’re your own person. But it’s the other side of your hair that hangs loose to hide your face that’s so telling. There is a part of you that’s a rebel but doesn’t want to be seen at the same time.”

  While she sat dumbstruck, I reached out with my hand and allowed myself the touch of her cheek before brushing the hair to secure it behind the other naked ear.

  “You shouldn’t hide a face as pretty as yours.”

  She bit her lip and I dropped my hand to take the wheel again. The light changed and I pulled onto a main road. There wouldn’t be any more touching until we made it to the theatre.

  Her voice came out hesitant and nervous. “My name is Reagan. Though some call me Rae.”

  And there it was. I’d won this round, yet I didn’t gloat with victory. “Can I call you Rae?” I asked.

  I missed her expression because a guy on a Harley came rumbling up next to my car, weaving some, drawing my attention. I slowed, letting him pass.

  Her voice was stronger when she spoke. “Maybe.”