Changing Hearts Read online

He had his BMW started before I got the door open.

  “I said you didn’t have to come.”

  “He’s my friend too,” I barked.

  I’d barely closed the door before he peeled off. In record time, we were at the frat house. The party had already begun. Night hadn’t descended, but free beer and classes not yet in session made the natives restless for fun.

  He didn’t wait for me. He shot out like a gun and marched for the front door. I had to race again to catch up with him. Inside, his head moved like he was viewing the scene through a scope. When he saw Ashton, he barreled his way over to the guy.

  I lifted my hands in surrender when Ashton gave me a questioning glance. I had a feeling that my lie would derail his party planning.

  NINETEEN

  Sawyer

  Ash looked fine. Just as I started to wonder what the fuck, everyone yelled “Happy Birthday!” I could read Ash’s blank face.

  “Did you have something to do with this?”

  He hadn’t yet answered when Shelly appeared at my side.

  “I had to tell you something to get here,” she said.

  She nervously glanced between the two of us. There was just something about her and the sweet smile she gave me that cooled my temper.

  I planned to ask her for a birthday kiss to piss her off when I was surrounded. Ash did what he did best and melted off in the distance.

  The party turned out not half bad. The women wanted to give me what I’d planned to ask Shelly for and all the guys kept handing me beers. I lost Shelly along the way. She, like Ash, just left me to the hordes. All of the attention helped keep my mind from going places I didn’t want to go. The beer did too. Endless supplies of it kept me from being twisted up in old memories like the previous night.

  When the last cup I had turned up empty, I stumbled my way to the kitchen to find some dude had a girl in a corner. Her giggle turned down my alertness. By the sounds of it, she wanted to be there. So I wouldn’t have to knock any heads that night.

  I moved toward the keg and stack of cups. Then I heard him. I turned so abruptly, I almost lost my balance. But I knew who the fucker was.

  The rest was a blur. Before I could think about my actions, I had the asshole in a chokehold and the stupid girl was screaming. Soon the tiny kitchen was crowded and Chance was there, trying to break my hold.

  “Let him go,” he said calmly.

  I didn’t feel at all calm. I wanted to rip the fucker’s head off. It took two other guys to get the douchebag free from me. Then he lunged. Someone caught him, otherwise I would have been caught defenseless with Chance pinning my arms.

  “I’m going to kill you, Cargill,” the cocksucker said.

  “You can try.”

  If Chance would let me free, I’d finish him old-school Mortal Kombat style.

  Shelly came in and glanced between the two of us. It shouldn’t have hurt when she went to his side and gave me death by glare eyes.

  “What the hell, Sawyer?”

  “It’s my party and I’ll kick his ass if I want to,” I sang.

  I glanced at the other girl, who stood in the corner like she was cold, holding her arms close to her chest. I’d hoped she’d say something when the Dick kissed Shelly on the forehead. I guess I should have known better.

  “Are you okay?” Shelly asked him in the ensuing silence.

  Everyone else waited to see what would happen next. He murmured something in her ear I couldn’t hear.

  “Let me go. I’m good,” I said to Chance.

  He did and the other guys let David go.

  Adrenaline pumping, I’d sobered up some, but I felt the cloud descending on me again.

  The girl in the corner still had said nothing. I gave her a knowing look before I met Shelly’s glare. “He isn’t good enough for you.”

  Before exiting the kitchen, I snagged a bottle of alcohol on the way.

  I went up to my designated room in the frat house and closed myself in. I sank to the bed and let the world spin a second or two. Eventually, I sat up and drank half the bottle before Ash came in.

  “What was that about?”

  “Nothing,” I said, glancing away with the bottle tilted at my lips.

  “You should leave her alone.”

  We both understood who he was talking about. No doubt he’d surmised my fascination with Shelly.

  “The fucker was hooking up with someone else.”

  “Not your problem,” Ash said, punctuating each word. “She can handle herself.”

  “Last famous words from the guy who runs from every problem.”

  “I didn’t run. I put distance between us.”

  “Yeah, whatever. I see you’ve been staying here.”

  I glanced around the room, which looked more lived in than usual. I should have figured he’d end up here.

  Ash shrugged. “It’s our room. I’m making use of it.”

  “With who?”

  “Jealous?”

  “Of your hand.” I laughed before taking another swallow.

  He took the bottle away as I was drinking. “You’ve had enough.”

  The fight hadn’t completely left me. “It’s my fucking birthday.”

  I was on my feet and shoving Ash in the chest. He took the blow, stumbling back, vodka sloshing out of the bottle. When I lunged at him, the bottle dropped from his hand, shattering on impact. The problem was, my equilibrium was way off. I ended diving at him only for him to counter by pushing me backward. He’d been good at wrestling. Drunk as I was, he had me pinned in a three count in seconds.

  So blitzed, I couldn’t think. I closed my eyes and let oblivion come. I didn’t even hear what Ash said to me before I was out.

  Muffled cries woke me up. The blanket that had been draped over me fell from my shoulders and into my lap as I sat up from my position on the ground. Ash was coiled tight and whimpering. There was only a moment of hesitation before I played the role I’d been playing most of my life.

  No one would understand that when I wrapped my arms around him there was nothing sexual about it. So far from it. That wasn’t what Ash needed nor what I wanted. He was trapped in a nightmare and for some fucking reason neither of us understood, my presence quieted his demons. Touch that normally made him seize up and shout out of fear was different when it was me.

  Soon his muffled cries quieted and his body relaxed. I hated that he’d left and suffered in silence because we couldn’t agree about the future.

  When morning came, he was gone. The ghost of his suffering rendered me more confused than I had been before. Still, I got up and left. I stopped to get coffee before I got home.

  The surprise of my life came when I opened the door. My father stood at the kitchen counter when I walked in.

  “Dad.” The automatic word regurgitated from my mouth with a dose of bile.

  “Sawyer.” My name was filled with so much contempt; I was surprised he managed to say it.

  Shelly walked out in a long shirt that practically hid her shorts. Her bed hair made Dad’s brow lift. She was so busy texting on her phone, she hadn’t noticed us. She stuttered to a stop when she glanced up. I moved quickly to her side. Instinct had me positioning myself as a shield for whatever ugly thing the man might say.

  “This would be—” Dad began, expecting me to fill in the blank.

  I blurted the first thing that came to mind. “My girlfriend.”

  Shelly stiffened, either from what I said or how I’d snaked an arm around her waist.

  “Ah, good. At least you’ve done something right for once. I assume you’ll be joining us tonight.”

  Silently I begged that she wouldn’t rat me out.

  “Of course,” Shelly said sweetly.

  I would owe her big, not to mention the explanation she would demand later.

  She plucked the coffee from my other hand.

  “Thanks, honey, for bringing me this.”

  She held it up like a prize. I grinned back at her, eyeing my
damn drink as it disappeared down her throat.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Dad didn’t seem to pick up on our robot impressions. I wasn’t sure which of our fake smiles would crack first.

  “I expect you to be dressed appropriately. No jeans or ripped clothing.” He may have spoken to me, but the warning was sent to Shelly as well. “Eight sharp. Don’t be late.”

  He left without ceremony, but the tension remained.

  Shelly whirled on me. “What the hell was that about?”

  TWENTY

  Shelly

  I wanted to be mad at him, but damn if he didn’t look so damn adorable with his puzzled expression. It wasn’t that he didn’t know why I was pissed. He was just at a loss for words from what I could tell.

  “I… uh…” He paused and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “Look, I’ll make an excuse with my dad. You don’t have to come.”

  He looked so lost. Never had I seen Sawyer appear so unsure of himself. It made my heart crack the angry outer shell that had formed.

  “Why did you tell your dad I was your girlfriend?”

  He lifted a hand and his carefully crafted mask snapped back in place. “Like I said, I’ll handle it.”

  His body shifted into action and he was on the move. I had to jog to catch him. “Look, I’ll do it. I just need to understand why.”

  Tight as a coil, he spun around to face me. Gone were the jokes.

  “Brie does enough psychoanalysis on me. I don’t need you doing it too.”

  Brie’s major was psychology, though she didn’t use her powers of observation for evil. She only meant well when she offered a listening ear.

  “Fine. I’ll do it. Heaven knows I owe you one or two or three for letting me stay here. Plus, I owe you that favor.”

  “You don’t owe me anything. I can handle my dad.”

  From the display I’d just seen, I would beg to differ. However, I kept that comment to myself.

  “I said I’ll do it,” I snapped.

  “What about your boyfriend?”

  “I doubt your father is going to put an ad out there that we’re dating. I’ll handle David.”

  His lips thinned and I could tell he was thinking it all through.

  “Fine. We’ll leave at seven thirty.”

  Then it dawned on me. “What should I wear?”

  I couldn’t stop the shiver as his eyes dragged down my body oh so slowly and up again. When he licked his lips, I had to put my hands behind my back for fear I’d reach out to him. What the hell was wrong with me? I hated Sawyer. He was a pompous ass. But even I had to admit he was a damn sexy one.

  “A dress if you can manage it. Nothing too sexy.”

  He bit the corner of his mouth as he tried to rein in a smirk. Here was the Sawyer I knew and…No way would I finish that thought.

  “Go ahead and say it,” I mused.

  “What?” he asked innocently. “I was just going to say you wouldn’t want to give the old guys a heart attack.”

  “You know that golden tongue of yours may work on most girls, but it does nothing for me.”

  Wrong thing to say, and it was too late to retract my words.

  “You think about my tongue?”

  Rather than risk saying something else, I tossed my hands up and headed to my room. He laughed at my stomping away. At least he was smiling again, I tried to tell myself. In the meantime, I had a call to make.

  I was grateful when David didn’t answer. Quickly, I texted him that I couldn’t see him tonight and that I’d explain later. It made me grateful I didn’t have to lie. After it was over, he couldn’t guilt me in not going or lying to him about it.

  My next call was to Mia. I needed her to come over and help me pick out something to wear. Brie hadn’t been there, otherwise she and Chance would have come down to watch the showdown between Sawyer and me.

  About an hour later, I still searched through my closet for what felt like the thousandth time. I no longer felt like a cow—instead I was a moose. It was bad enough I was pretending to be Sawyer’s girlfriend. Who would believe that I of all people could hold down a guy like him? I wasn’t skinny enough or pretty enough. They would probably judge me based on what I ordered. Too little and I’d be admitting that I was fat. Too much and they’d think the fat girl had no shame. How could I get through a meal like that? Why had I agreed to this farce of a date? Hopefully, no one would pay attention to my plate. I’d gotten good at cutting food up and making it look like it disappeared. Otherwise, I would have to resort to Plan B.

  “What you have on is fine,” Mia said, breaking through my thoughts.

  I faced the mirror and the dark color hid my awful shape, but the hem of the dress was a little too short. “No, I don’t think this will work.”

  “I thought you said this is a favor for Sawyer. Why do you care so much?”

  “Exactly,” I said, not really answering her question. “It’s a favor and I don’t want to embarrass him.”

  “You look great, Shell. And so did the last fifteen outfits you tried on.”

  “You didn’t meet his father. I have to look perfect.”

  That was something I was far from. Men like Sawyer’s father and my own expected women to be flawless. All I could see was the ice cream I’d eaten the other night. I’d lost the craving battle and had given in. Sleep had claimed me soon after, thus the calories had stuck to my hips like glue.

  “Are you sure there isn’t more going on between you two? I mean, you act like you’re meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time.”

  “For the record, we already met. And Sawyer is just a friend.”

  “A friend?” She sounded exasperated. “You spit venom every time you see him. Now he’s your best friend.”

  “He’s doing me a favor.”

  “Uh-huh. Why don’t you admit he’d taken you to heaven that night freshman year? Which is why you’ve been putting him through hell.”

  “A hell he so rightly deserves.”

  “Does David know what you’re doing?”

  “David’s not my keeper.” When she glared at me, I added, “I’m not going to lie to him either. It’s just easier to tell him what I did after. I don’t want him to try and stop me from doing this. I promised Sawyer. And the two of them have it out for each other.”

  “Oh, what a struggle for you to have not one but two hot guys fighting over you.”

  “No one is fighting over me. Sawyer is just…”

  But I didn’t know what Sawyer’s game was. I put on a black dress. It was simple and nearly ended at my knees. It was conservative, though it clung to my curves. The black, however, hid the imperfections. I swung around and let Mia inspect me.

  “Sawyer is just what? Sexy as fuck? Or fucking sexy.”

  “Sawyer is an arrogant…” I couldn’t think of the next word. “Screw Sawyer.”

  “You’ve done that.”

  I ignored her. “Just tell me how I look.” I faced her.

  “You look like a corporate lawyer, not a college student.”

  “Perfect,” I said with a huge smile. She hadn’t said I looked like an accountant needing a pocket protector. “Classy, but not frumpy.”

  I decided against wearing my hair pulled back. I let it hang loose around my shoulders.

  “Thanks for your help,” I said.

  Her frown formed on her pretty face. “Seriously, don’t let him get under your skin.”

  “It will be fine.”

  “Okay, you’re not the one who watched you fall to pieces and weld yourself together using medieval chainmail.”

  “You realize we all don’t like history as much as you do,” I teased.

  “I’m serious. Keep your heart a lance away from him. If he tries to get any closer, impale his ass.”

  I hugged her, appreciating her concern.

  “Okay, time for you to go.” I ushered her out of the room.

  “Call me if you need me. I’ll gather my knights of the round
table and King Henry’s ass if needed.”

  “Aren’t you mixing your timelines?”

  She shrugged. “We learn from history and use the best methods we have to dispatch our enemies. Don’t forget your history with him.”

  I practically shoved her out the door. When I turned, Sawyer came downstairs dressed like he was modeling for Hugo Boss. Damn if he wasn’t perfect in every way, physically at least. I thought about what Mia had said and mentally turned the blowtorch on in my head and welded my heart shut.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Sawyer

  She was a tiny girl who looked like she would fly away in a stiff wind. Yet, there was strength in her steely gaze that weighed her down.

  “You look—”

  “Don’t say it,” she said.

  “Say what?”

  But I knew what she meant.

  “Something sexual.”

  Like the fact she looked so good, I wanted to throw her over my shoulder, toss her on my bed, and fuck her until she was worn out.

  “You look good,” I admitted.

  That was an understatement. The black dress hid most of her. Still, I wanted to peel it off to see what was underneath. Most girls wouldn’t get that not showing everything made guys more fascinated.

  “Thank you,” she conceded. “You don’t look bad yourself.”

  I lifted a brow in question.

  “Fine, you look great and you know it.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “It must have hurt a lot for you to say that.”

  “Oh, stop it. Your ego doesn’t need feeding.”

  I pinned my lips shut because so many inappropriate things came to mind. Instead, I went to the front door and held it open for her. I did the same at my car.

  “What manners. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

  “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

  “Care to share?” she dared.

  “Not really.”

  I turned on the radio and let music fill the car. Last thing I needed to do was share my feelings, especially with her. The silence only let my gaze occasionally drift to her legs. The dress she wore rode up a little as she sat. I didn’t know what was worse, talking about feelings or imagining myself between her thighs. Good thing the restaurant wasn’t too far. In less than twenty minutes, we’d arrived and my shit night began.