Craving Dragonflies Page 8

She didn’t go there. The last thing I wanted to think about was Sawyer’s man parts.

  I coughed in my hand. “Rumors he’s a man-whore.”

  She only gave me an evil side-eye before her smile returned.

  “He’s never had a girlfriend,” she countered.

  “And you think you’ll be the one?”

  I got the duh glare next.

  “He’s utterly rich,” she added.

  “Like you’ve ever wanted for anything in your life.”

  “Him,” she said unrepentantly.

  “You’re better than him.”

  She stopped mid-stride, pulling me with her.

  “Like you’re better than his friend.” I looked like someone who should have hooted for the size my eyes got. She’d caught me looking at him? She answered like she read my mind. “Yeah, I saw you staring. But trust me when I say don’t go there.”

  Really, I wanted to say. Like she wasn’t delusional over Sawyer? But I didn’t want to fight. I had to get to class. At least I knew I had no shot with him, gay or not. That didn’t mean I couldn’t look.

  “You’re right.” I backed down so she’d release her death hold on me. I was already seeing half-moons her claws had dug into my skin.

  “Celeste,” I begged.

  Only her attention had already shifted to a guy who stood several feet away. He didn’t wave or smile. Then again, he didn’t have to. He was more than a snack. The guy was a smoke show. I had to admit, scenery around campus was amazing.

  “Look, I have to go,” she said, her eyes never leaving the blond hottie.

  Seriously, she was ditching me. Then again, another classic Celeste move. It didn’t matter that she’d dragged me across campus.

  “Who’s that?” I asked.

  She gave me that look like now’s not the time. “Taylor, if you must know. I’ll talk to you later.”

  Selfish Celeste was back. She strode off and walked past the guy as if she didn’t see him. He smirked at me before following her.

  Who was Taylor?

  I shook it off and doubled-timed it the half mile to class. I was so going to be late. I pushed through my classroom door, only to have everyone turn to stare in my direction.

  Talk about moth to a flame. I felt the heat from embarrassment burn a path all over my body. I dropped my head, but not before I caught Derek giving me an apologetic glance.

  I dropped in my seat and tried to make myself as small as possible, slouching way down. I didn’t relish attention and prayed my professor wouldn’t call me out.

  “As I was saying. We’ve had another theft. I’m not sure what value there is for a live dragonfly. It’s most likely some sort of prank. Since I have a large shipment of donated butterflies from the Smithsonian Museum coming on Friday, I’ve had a camera installed in the storeroom. In addition, the lab will now be locked sooner. After my last class in fact. For those that have ongoing projects, you will be given an additional access code to the specimen room.”

  That was when I noticed the new keypad lock on the storeroom door.

  She continued to drone on as I thought about my next move. She was wrong about a dragonfly’s worth. All life was precious. Who were we to play God with another creature’s life? I get studying the dead. That had been a practice for centuries and how we learned about humanity. But studying the living, that was another story.

  If a shipment of live butterflies arrived, I wouldn’t be able to sit back and do nothing. They had such a short life. Was it fair for them to live the rest of it in captivity?

  I wasn’t a zealot. The Smithsonian had a habitat made for butterflies that allowed them a semblance of living free. Here they would be kept in glass enclosures that were nothing like living in the real world.

  “I’m sorry, Willow.”

  At some point class had ended as I sat formulating a plan. Derek stood there with a bucket load of sympathy in his gray stare.

  I shrugged. “You can’t save them all.”

  “Maybe—”

  I shook my head. No way would I drag him into the trouble I’d be in if I did anything to save the world or the little bit I could.

  “It’s okay. You’ve got to know when you’re beat, right?” I said.

  His lips pursed. “Do you want to grab a coffee?”

  Was he asking me out?

  “I—” What should I say? He wasn’t a bad guy, cute even. We had a lot in common. “Sure. But can we do it tomorrow?”

  His face beamed, and I smiled back. Too bad for me I didn’t get the kind of flutters I got when I looked at the nameless boy.

  “Okay. Tomorrow,” he agreed.

  I nodded at him and he nodded back. We stood there for another awkward moment before we laughed and then he left. I sat there for another minute or two. Was I really going to put myself out there again? Why the hell not? It would be easy to sit at home with a tub of ice cream and complain.

  I tucked my bag to my chest and let my smile grow. Derek was cute. I even got a little excited as I grabbed a snack from The Coffee Shack on my way home.

  It was quicker to cut through the parking lot than to walk the path. So why did a roar of an engine and the driver behind the wheel scare the ever-living skin off my body?

  16

  Ashton

  * * *

  Practice had ended early. And dammit, everything Chance had said to me made me feel guilty. I fisted my hand and punched the steering wheel, not believing what I was about to do. But I turned the key anyway.

  My knuckles throbbed, and the pain cleared my thoughts. What was I really angry about? I owed Sawyer everything. I could suck it up and deal to help him out. I wasn’t going to end up as selfish as my mother.

  I hit the gas and immediately slammed on the brake. The car rocked forward, but stopped before hitting the girl who stood wide-eyed.

  Shifting into park, I jumped out the driver’s side door.

  “Shit, are you okay?”

  Her shell-shocked expression only doubled when she saw me. She kept a white-knuckle grip on the books clutched to her chest like she was cold. Her lashes fluttered a second before her focus crystalized on me.

  “I’m fine.”

  I shouldn’t have said it, but it popped out of my mouth as soon as the thought formed. “Are you following me?”

  She seemed to be everywhere I was. And for some strange reason, I couldn’t shut up around her.

  Her momentary confusion solidified and flatlined her lips.

  “Following you? Ego much?”

  I opened my mouth, but caught the stray words before I made a bigger fool of myself. She read something else in my silence and snorted.

  “Of course, you do. You’re used to girls throwing themselves at you, I suppose.” She unfolded her hand to reveal a key fob. Then she used her thumb to press a button. A car across the way and a few down chirped.

  Stop being an asshole and say something. Normally, I didn’t speak because there was nothing worth saying. That wasn’t the case around her. This girl just confused me.

  Her chest rose before she blew out a long breath. “Look, I’ve been meaning to tell you thank you for helping me. But a little advice. Even if I liked you—which I don’t—I wouldn’t bother. It’s obvious to everyone you have a thing for Sawyer. You should just tell him.”

  She sauntered away as I held in growing rage. My friends had thrown similar words in my face and now they’d been used against me by a virtual stranger. Damn you, Sawyer.

  Just as I got into my car, my phone rang.

  Julie.

  She was the quintessential girl next door and the first girl Sawyer loved. By the time Sawyer made his move, she’d admitted to me that I was her choice.

  For a space of time, I thought I loved her too. But when I chose Sawyer’s friendship over a shot with her, I realized that my feelings were just a mirror of his. After she was gone, I hadn’t missed her at all.

  I answered the call.

  “Hey.”

  �
��Ash, how is everything?”

  She called every so often. Her timing sucked today.

  “I’m in the car.”

  It was a lame attempt at avoiding the question and would hopefully cut the conversation short.

  “Going to see him.”

  Though she hadn’t snapped out the words, I could hear the disappointment loud and clear. I wanted to hang up the phone, but I’d known her almost as long as I’d known Sawyer. She was the next best thing to family I had.

  “Does it matter?”

  My statement was little more than a whisper as the little hybrid pulled out carrying the irritating but interesting blonde as she drove off.

  Julie’s pitying voice brought me back to the conversation.

  “It does because I know how much it hurts you.”

  My grip tightened on the phone. Why the fuck did everyone think they knew me or what I was feeling?

  On an exhale, I said, “I have to go.”

  “Wait!”

  I held the phone, but stayed silent. What did that say about me? The people I cared about had some kind of fucking power over me. I had Mother to thank for that.

  “Ash, I want to see you.”

  My eyes closed, and it felt like my heartbeat slowed. Her coming around could only cause Sawyer pain. Though I wasn’t sure how he felt about her anymore. We rarely spoke her name.

  Teeth grinding, I said, “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Why? Sawyer’s surely moved on by now.”

  It was possible. Sawyer’s new target was Shelly. That didn’t mean his feelings for Julie had died.

  “I can’t.”

  Her reply was quick, like she’d had her rebuttal planned. “I stayed away and gave Sawyer a chance to do right by you. But he’ll never love you the way I do.”

  She might as well had backhanded me like Mother did anytime I dared speak out of turn.

  “I have to go.”

  This time I didn’t wait. I hung up, rude or not. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. The truth was, I’d never loved her. Then it hit me. Sawyer probably felt the same way about me. He didn’t want to hurt my feelings either. We were some sort of messed-up triangle. Sawyer loved Julie. Julie loved me. And I… The thought was too hard to process. But it made it easier to drive over to the townhouse.

  I should have known better. When I arrived, Sawyer wasn’t alone. No surprise there. The challenge in his eyes as he invited me to join his little sexcapade did me in as it always did. He was the ringmaster of his little circus, and I performed like he expected.

  When I awoke, it took me a few seconds to recall where I was. It wasn’t my room or Sawyer’s. But I was definitely still in the townhouse. I turned my head. Sawyer took up most of the bed. I was glad he’d gotten the girls to leave shortly after everything we’d done.

  He hadn’t stirred as I headed for the bathroom. I needed a shower. The stinging hot water didn’t make me feel clean. I scrubbed until my skin was red and raw, but I still felt dirty.

  17

  Willow

  * * *

  It had been a few days, but my thoughts trailed back to the boy. Had I really said those things to him?

  I should probably apologize. In truth, I was pissed at Kent. I’d been excited about going on a date with a cute boy, only to find out he wasn’t interested in me.

  “Willow.” Celeste waved a hand in front of me. “Did you even hear what I said?”

  I focused on her and shook my head. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  The warm mug of coffee heated my chilled hands as she opened her mouth. A knock sounded, silencing whatever she’d been about to say.

  “I’ll get it,” she announced and pranced over to the door in a shirt that barely covered her bottom.

  Was she expecting company? It was Friday morning, but one never knew with Celeste.

  When the door opened, the person standing there was hidden behind a large bouquet. Immediately, my mind scrambled for what date had I missed. Was it her birthday? Or maybe that guy she left with the other day was sending her flowers? What secret was she keeping this time?

  “These are gorgeous,” she said, reaching for the stunning crystal vase they sat in.

  There were flowers of various colors and species. Tulips, roses, pansies, and more. It was a hodgepodge of beautiful that forced you to smile.

  Kent’s face popped around the side. “And they’re for Willow.” He gave me hound dog eyes. “I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

  I wasn’t one to harbor ill will toward anyone and didn’t immediately tell him to get out as he walked toward me. Mom insisted that being angry caused wrinkles. It’s probably why I could get along with Celeste.

  “Please don’t hate me,” he said, setting down the vase on the kitchen counter near where I rested my elbows.

  “I don’t hate you. I hate what you did.”

  His head bobbed. “I screwed up. But I still want us to be friends.”

  I sipped the coffee. We’d never been friends. I could easily say no. But I didn’t have it in me. “Fine, but if you ever do something like that again…”

  What was I going to threaten?

  “I won’t. I swear. Let me take you to dinner later and then we could go to the concert.”

  The rained-out one had been rescheduled for tonight.

  Celeste stood a few feet behind him with raised eyebrows, waiting for my response.

  “Yeah, okay.”

  It looked like he let out a breath he’d been holding as he held a hand over his heart. Then he came over, bent down, and kissed my cheek.

  “Thank you.”

  I nodded.

  “I’ll call you later.”

  As he moved toward the door, I said, “I still don’t have a phone.”

  He looked at me and then at Celeste. She pursed her lips and shrugged.

  “Seven then?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  Once the door closed, Celeste dug into me. “I can’t believe you won’t just tell Dad to get you another phone.”

  She said it like it was no big deal. And maybe for her it wouldn’t be. But Mom didn’t work. It was his money paying for everything. Whether or not Celeste and Mom believed it, he wasn’t exactly a fan of mine. He put up with me. I wasn’t driven enough, and my choice of career path didn’t meet his expectations. Mom had won the battle on that one. Still, I had student loans to look forward to paying after college. At least he co-signed to help me get them.

  “It’s okay.” I lifted my shoulders and let them fall. “It’ll turn up.”

  As much as I knew Mom loved me, there hadn’t been an urgent call to my sister looking for me because her calls had gone unanswered.

  “Do you have a date tonight?” I asked.

  It was a good way to change the subject. There was nothing Celeste liked talking about more than herself.

  “I’m hanging out with someone.” The gorgeous guy with the delicious smirk came to mind. Taylor, I thought. “Though it’s not a date.”

  “Maybe you should give up on Sawyer,” I advised.

  She glared daggers at me and I held up my hands in surrender. Then I picked up my abandoned coffee mug and poured the cooling drink down the drain.

  “I’ve got to get ready for class.”

  I made it to the bathroom and was closing the door as she followed after me.

  “Wait.”

  I didn’t and grinned. For once, I’d snagged the bathroom first. I turned on the shower and ignored Celeste’s protest. It was our apartment. Though I’d given her reign the last three years, today would be my day.

  Besides, if all went right, I might get arrested and so be it. Tonight I planned to free the butterflies.

  I thought about the beautiful bouquet of colorful blooms Kent brought me. And a stupid fantasy of a boy who enjoyed standing in the rain bloomed in my head. Why couldn’t I get him out of my mind? Even if he played for my team, he was totally out of my league.

  18<
br />
  Past

  * * *

  We were talking in the kitchen when Mother came downstairs.

  “Sawyer,” she said dryly. “Why are you here?”

  She didn’t hide the distain in her voice.

  My best friend’s grin only widened.

  “Ms. W., you’re looking good.”

  I could have choked as Mother rolled her eyes.

  “You can go now.”

  My breath hitched. I wasn’t ready for him to leave.

  “But Ms. W., Ash invited me to stay over tonight.” I had made no such offer. Panic clawed at my throat as I could feel Mother’s glare on the back of my neck. “You know, to watch the playoffs.”

  “Ashton knows better. We have company tonight.” Though that was true, Sawyer was never allowed to stay over… ever. “I’m going to run to the store. You need to be gone when I return.”

  I carefully kept my eyes averted. I didn’t want to catch her punishing gaze. Sawyer had no idea the hell I would pay for his careless words.

  “Bro, what’s up with your mom? She’s kind of scary most days, but damn if I didn’t get a chill just now. What’s her deal? Why can I never stay over?”

  We’d been friends six years, and I’d dodged this bullet that entire time. Whenever he asked to spend the night at my house, I made an excuse why his house would be better. He had all the gaming equipment. There was no TV in my room. He’d understood or so I thought.

  “She has a thing tonight.”

  “So? It’s adult shit, right? Wouldn’t it be better if I kept you company?”

  Slowly, I shook my head. Tonight, he was coming.

  “Fine, stay over at my house,” he offered.

  Sawyer had never pushed me to talk about anything. Why today? It felt like my Adam’s apple doubled in size blocking my vocal cords.

  “I can’t,” I managed to say.

  “Why the fuck not?”

  Sawyer didn’t get it, and I didn’t blame him.

  “You have to go.”

  I closed my eyes, hating the weakness that overcame me. My will had been beaten out of me years ago. When I opened my eyes, they landed on the basement door.