Changing Hearts Read online

  It was a simple answer. Shelly wasn’t satisfied.

  “No, really, you can’t leave me hanging like that.”

  I wasn’t really sure why I said it. But I did.

  “We eventually had sex and that changed everything.”

  I swallowed what was left of my beer and got to my feet.

  “Good night, Shelly.”

  Her eyes pinned me like a bug to a science project. I didn’t wait around for any more questions. The last thing I wanted to do was cross the line she’d drawn in the sand forbidding me from talking about what had happened between us.

  FOURTEEN

  Shelly

  The conversation with Sawyer had been more than a little bizarre. I wanted to hate him for casting me aside after what had happened. He never once mentioned it, like it meant nothing to him. But last night I saw something different about him.

  I grabbed the last red apple and placed it on my tray next to the burger there was no way in hell I planned to eat before joining the line. It took a few minutes to get through. After, I made my way to find David, who sat at a table with a bunch of other guys. I tried not to be mad. Ever since we’d gotten back to school, he’d been different.

  As I approached, the guys eyed me. One of them said, “Damn, she’s fat.”

  I glared at him. Now, the idea of eating even the apple made my stomach twist. David caught my arm.

  “Shell, he didn’t mean anything by it.”

  My temper flared. “Doesn’t he know that fat shaming is just as bad as slut shaming?”

  The struggle with my weight was hard enough without some douche pointing out my flaws. A part of me considered shoving the burger whole down my throat to make a point. But the idea of forcing myself to throw it up later killed that idea. I’d tried that a few times and the tear-inducing acid burning feeling turned me off to that unless it was an emergency situation. Like when hunger won out.

  Oblivious to my thoughts, David said, “It was a compliment. Faat means ‘fantastic ass and tits.’”

  The guys around him snickered. I ignored them. I wanted this thing to work between us. He’d been great until now. I decided in that moment that his asshole friends wouldn’t be the end of us. With my appetite suddenly lost, I said softly, “I’ll catch you later.”

  “About that, I can’t make it tonight. Tomorrow?”

  The smile I gave him was brittle. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

  I stalked away as they continued chuckling. David didn’t come after me, which lost him some points in my book. I seriously tried not to be cynical. However, I couldn’t help wondering if Brie hadn’t gotten it partially right when she dated an older guy at one point. A guy whose maturity had caught up with hers.

  My lunch except for the apple went promptly in the trash. I almost made a clean getaway when someone stopped me. I turned and glared at the guy who held onto my arm as if he had the right.

  “Where you are going, Firestarter?”

  Narrowing my eyes at him didn’t make him let go.

  “I’m not in the mood, Sawyer.”

  “What happened?”

  His voice pitched lower and flames seemed to gather in his hazel gaze.

  “Nothing.”

  I’d enunciated the word then glared daggers at his proprietary hand on me. “Let it go, Sawyer. When have you ever cared about me?”

  Finally, I was free. Hurt changed his expression and guilt rose in me. But anger and frustration carried me far away from the guys in my life without another word.

  My cell buzzed in my pocket and I reacted in bitch mode. “What?”

  “Down, girl.”

  I blew out a sigh. “Sorry, Greg.”

  My brother snorted. “No, you’re not.”

  “I am.” I would so need to apologize to Sawyer. He hadn’t deserved my ire either. “What’s up?”

  “It happened.”

  The breath I sucked in didn’t quite fill my lungs.

  “When?” It was little more than a whisper.

  “Mom said she got the papers. Plus, there’s something else.”

  I stopped in the middle of the walkway and closed my eyes. Though I was daddy’s little girl, I wouldn’t forgive my brother’s next words.

  “Mom thinks he’s in a hurry to have her sign the papers because she thinks his girlfriend is pregnant.”

  Tears pricked my eyes. I’d known my parents’ marriage was in trouble when Mom moved back to Oklahoma and Dad never followed. Still, I’d held out hope that maybe they’d work it out.

  “Is she okay?”

  Mom was closer to my brother. I was never sure if it was because Dad doted on me or if their personalities clicked. But she’d always called my brother to tell him news, not me.

  “You know Mom. She acts like everything’s good.”

  She was a good actress and had been for most of our lives.

  “Should I go by?”

  “Why don’t you come over and we can go together?”

  I’d planned to work out, but agreed. Family first and all of that. Greg didn’t live terribly far. Only, when I parked in front of his place, I watched Roy help a female out of his car a couple of spots down. She wore a smile like it lived on her face. He spotted me and there was no way to drive off without looking like a jealous ex. The fact was I wasn’t jealous. I was adult enough to admit it stung to see him with love in his eyes, a look he hadn’t given to me. Then there was the matter of the ring on her finger.

  “Hey, Shell. Long time no see.”

  That had been intentional.

  “Yeah. Long time.”

  The plastered smile on my face wouldn’t last long before cracks started to show.

  “Let me introduce you to Veronica, my fiancée.”

  I held out a hand and shook hers. The syrupy sweet grin on her face made me feel sick and not because of her. What kind of bitch was I to hope I never saw the two of them again?

  Greg came out. “Sorry, Roy, I’m heading out with Shell.”

  The boys turned and chatted, leaving me to stand with Veronica.

  “So I’ve heard so much about you,” she said.

  “Yeah?”

  The muscles of my jaw hurt. In another lifetime, she could probably be a friend. At the moment, as much as I wanted to be over Roy, the shitty day I had so far reminded me how bad I was at choosing guys.

  “Yeah, actually. I was hoping I’d meet you one day.”

  That piqued my interest.

  “Why?” My question was genuine.

  “Roy, he told me you were his one mistake.”

  I wasn’t sure if I should be insulted.

  “No,” she said, taking ahold of my arm. What was it with people grabbing me today? “He said that you were the girl he let get away.”

  Before I could respond, the guys were there, interested in our conversation.

  “We should go,” my brother said.

  On the ride over, I tried to stay quiet. My head was all over the place, deciding what I should say to my father when I spoke to him.

  “How’s dorm life?” Greg asked.

  It dawned on me that I hadn’t told my family where I was staying.

  “I’m not exactly in the dorm.”

  His forehead wrinkled. “Where are you living then? Did you finally get Dad to agree to an apartment?”

  “No. I’m living with Brie—”

  “I met her, right?”

  “Yes, but I’m not living with her. I’m living with her boyfriend and their roommate. You met them that night when you helped Lenora.”

  “The girl with the crazy boyfriend?”

  “Yes. I’m staying there.”

  Before he could give me the third degree, I told him the whole story. We made it to Mom’s just as I got to the end.

  Mom must have heard our approach because she opened the front door with red-rimmed eyes.

  “Let’s talk about this later,” I told him.

  He nodded. We ended in a huddle with Mom between us. She didn�
�t mask her hurt for once, and in that moment, I hated my father for the first time in my life.

  “Let’s not talk about me,” Mom said, classically deflecting. “Tell me how school is going.”

  I traded a glance with my brother and decided to come clean with her about my living arrangements. When I was done, Mom asked, “And he’s letting you live rent free? Is that safe?”

  “Don’t worry, Mom. I plan on dropping by and having a conversation with Shell’s new roommates.”

  I loved my brother, but I dreaded his brotherly chat with Sawyer. I could imagine tempers clashing and me ending up living back at home.

  “I wish you wouldn’t.”

  Greg leveled his gaze on me. “But I am.”

  It would only end badly.

  FIFTEEN

  Sawyer

  “Mom.”

  At that point, she wasn’t hearing me. “Mom.”

  “I have to go.”

  I raked a hand through my hair, hearing her muffled sob before she hung up and stared at the blank screen for a second.

  “Sawyer.”

  A cute tiny girl with a big smile stopped in front of me. I shoved my phone in my pocket.

  “Hey.”

  She stared at me like I should know her.

  “We have class together.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I missed class today. I wondered if you had notes.”

  She licked her lips before biting the corner of her mouth. And fuck me, I needed the distraction, today of all days.

  “Sure. You can come by my place later,” I offered.

  We did the exchange thing and she waved before sauntering off. When I glanced up, Ash was walking in my direction. I felt caged, unable to move as he walked by saying nothing. He wasn’t alone either. I gritted my teeth and left before I said something I’d regret.

  Later, when I pushed through the locker room doors, I was greeted with pats on the back. Apparently Coach had spread the news that tightened the noose around my neck.

  “You came,” Chance said as we suited up.

  “Not much of a choice.”

  Ash came over to grab his stuff and left without a word. Chance gave me a disapproving frown.

  Muttering more to myself, I said, “It feels like we’ve broken up and we’ve never been together.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  Then Chance left. Since I showed up barely on time, I was the last to leave for the field. The Oklahoma heat was no joke. It made me long for home.

  I’d been the last resort quarterback backup since freshman year and I had most of the plays down. It was being there, back in center field calling plays like I did in high school, that felt foreign.

  “Blue 44, Red 42, hut, hut.”

  Everyone moved around me, and I swore time went into slow motion. It was as if I could hear air moving in and out of my lungs.

  It was just practice, but our defense had a job to do. They came at me like I was the enemy. Chance was covered. Ash was open. I let the ball go right before I was taken down and I hated every minute of it.

  As my lineman gave me a hand up, all I could hear was my father’s words in my head. You owe this family. You owe your brother.

  I had aches upon aches by the time I got in my car to go home. Chance was off to see Brie. So if Shelly wasn’t home, I’d have the place to myself.

  She wasn’t. By the time tiny Tammy showed up, the house was still empty. Since it wasn’t exactly a hook-up, we stayed in the living room. It wasn’t the only time I’d been alone with a girl and nothing had happened between us. But it had been a while.

  After I finished giving her my best professor impression of the lecture she missed, the micro version, she was more than a little grateful. Her hand landed on my thigh and there was no mistaking the invitation.

  She had giant doe eyes that questioned every move she made. When she leaned in, I didn’t fight. Fuck it. Dry spell be damned. Chance and Brie fucked like rabbits. Who knew what Shelly was up to? What the hell was I waiting for? Shelly…Ash.

  I gripped the back of Tammy’s head, taking the kiss deeper, letting her hand roam and find my zipper. My dick didn’t know how to say no, especially when she got hold of it.

  She slid out of the kiss and on her knees. At least something was going right today. Just as she was about to set the beast free from my pants, the door opened and Shell gaped at us.

  Tiny Tammy suddenly grew three feet as she stood and glared between us.

  “Who’s this? Your girlfriend?”

  More curses were sure to leave her mouth until Shelly cut in.

  “No! I’m his roommate.”

  “Oh,” Tammy said.

  My dick practically crawled back in my pants as if we’d done something wrong.

  “Let me get out of your way.” Shelly dismissed us with a wave of her hand.

  “Don’t bother. Tammy was just leaving.”

  No way was I going to deal with Tiny. If she got mad at me when she didn’t bother to get her facts right ahead of time, she was more trouble than it was worth.

  Tammy stared at me as if I’d change my mind. I shrugged and got to my feet. I opened the door and let my dry spell fuck leave. It wasn’t like there weren’t girls like Tammy all over campus. It wasn’t the end of the world for her to leave.

  “You didn’t have to stop on my account,” Shelly said after I shut the door.

  “It’s no big deal. I’m leaving anyway.”

  I got my jacket from the hook and headed out the door. I needed more than a distraction. My father had called more than once and I’d ignored him. What I needed was something stronger than beer.

  The frat house wasn’t far and was never empty. Party or not, people gathered. I walked in and headed straight for the kitchen and the liquor. I poured myself a cup of scotch because that was what was open on the counter and I headed past a poker game.

  “Sawyer?”

  I turned to find one of my frat brothers, Byron.

  “Yeah?”

  “Did you get in?”

  Technically, he shouldn’t ask. The Vanderbilt Club was as secret as the Skulls and Bones at Yale. The fact that it was named after my mom’s family generations back was one of the reasons I’d been allowed to go to this school over other Ivy Leagues.

  I took a drink before speaking. “Should you ask?”

  The guy looked like he should be wearing a pocket protector and not a lacrosse practice jersey.

  “I’m in. But keep that shit to yourself.”

  “I guess that means Ashton is too?”

  I shrugged. “What do they have on you?”

  I didn’t want to think about it. All would be revealed. A secret that would shame us into silence would be shared with all members at the ceremony. It was insurance. I had plenty of secrets. So I drained my glass and went back for more, leaving the poor kid to go do whatever the hell he wanted. I didn’t want to talk. I hadn’t come here for that.

  My vision was sufficiently blurred before the hour was up. I’d consumed enough liquor to talk loudly to anyone in hearing distance. I’d been so focused on a girl’s rack, I nearly face planted in her cleavage.

  Caught around the waist, I was trapped. I heard the words and didn’t see much beside the floor that fucking tilted on me.

  “That’s enough.”

  I wanted to argue, but I was being led upstairs. As I passed doors, I gathered I was going to the room in the house designated for me even though I didn’t live there.

  So wasted I didn’t know who was yanking my chain, I stumbled into the darkened room before the door closed out what little light there was.

  Then a warm mouth was on mine and hands were in my hair. I thought I blacked out a second because the next thing I recalled was being flat on my back. My jeans were nearly at my ankles. My dick was stone because a hot mouth was around it.

  “Fuucckk,” I thought I said.

  Next thing I remembered was light coming through the windows
and a headache from hell.

  SIXTEEN

  Shelly

  I sat straight up in bed, awakened from a dead sleep. For a moment, the dream of Sawyer’s hands all over me lingered until the knock came again.

  “Yeah, what? I’m awake.”

  “Have you seen Sawyer?” Chance’s voice sounded muffled through the door.

  Chance was a good guy, which was why I didn’t tell him to fuck off. Instead, I marched over to the door. I opened it to find that he appeared worried, which set off alarms in my head.

  “No, I haven’t seen him. I was sleeping.”

  He took a deep breath. “Sorry, it’s just he didn’t show up to practice and Coach is pissed.”

  “He’s probably with some girl. Isn’t that how he spends most of his nights?”

  “I don’t keep up with his activities. What I do know is he’s reliable. It’s not like him not to show up.”

  As much as I tried not to know Sawyer, he didn’t have a reputation for being flighty. A hefty dose of fear clouded my brain. It had to be that because I grabbed my keys and moved past Chance, heading toward the front door.

  The why and the where I was going hadn’t yet crossed my mind. All I knew was that I had to find him.

  Before I could reach the front door, it opened and a bedraggled Sawyer stepped inside. Fear turned to anger in a nanosecond.

  “Where have you been?” I jabbed his muscled chest with a finger. His initial surprised expression turned into a smug grin.

  “Worried about me, doll?”

  “I’m not your doll.”

  “You sure look like one to me.”

  His eyes scorched my skin as they took a blazing trail down the length of me. That was when I remembered exactly what I was wearing.

  My thin T-shirt did nothing to hide my chest and how my nipples had hardened at the sight of him. I crossed my arms over them, which only made him grin wider.

  Thank goodness for Chance. I was at a loss for words, but he wasn’t.

  “Where the hell were you, man? Coach is going to have your ass this afternoon.”

  Sawyer shrugged. “Overslept.”

  He walked past, heading for the stairs, ending further comment.