Songs For Cricket Read online

  “As I told you at the party, we started dating over the summer.”

  I moved my arms to prop my hands up so I could rest my chin there. “But do you really like him?”

  Her lips compressed. “He’s nice . . .”

  “But—” I prodded.

  “But there are just some things about him I’m not sure about.” I wanted to ask more when she had trouble meeting my eye. “Now my turn.”

  Because her grin was on full display, I was a little worried about what she might ask.

  “I was sure that you and Shep would have been a thing by now.”

  I remained quiet as she hadn’t asked a question. Besides, even though we’d formed an alliance, she would have to earn my secrets. Not that I had many. But my feelings for Shepard, ones I was trying to get rid of, were off-limits for now.

  “But Kevin tells me that Billy is super interested in you.”

  Kevin told her about Billy? Which meant Billy had been gossiping about me to Kevin?

  “Seriously?” I asked.

  Her head bobbed vigorously. Thank goodness for the waitress. She arrived with whipped cream topped goodness. I wasn’t sure how to answer, so I took a sip and groaned. It was fan-freakin’-tastic.

  “Good, huh?” When I nodded, she said, “But you’re not off the hook.”

  “Billy . . .”

  I drifted off when she looked past me with an instant of panic before she hid her reaction. Over my shoulder, I spied Kevin walking toward us with Billy behind him.

  “Ladies,” Kevin said a second before bending down to sit beside Emily.

  I kept my eyes on her, forgetting about Billy for a second. When I finally glanced over at where he stood, he had one brow arched in question. I scooted over giving him room to sit next to me. By the time I looked at Emily, Kevin’s disapproval of the milkshake was evident by the way he was glaring at it.

  It took a matter of a second for me to put it all together. I reached over and snagged the untouched shake.

  “Do you like milkshakes?” I asked Billy, shifting it in his direction. “I convinced Emily to order one, but she didn’t want it.”

  When Billy said, “Are you sure?” and glanced at her, I chanced a look myself.

  Now that I was searching for it, I spotted the fake edges that lined her smile.

  “Yes, please,” she said.

  “Your loss,” Billy said, taking the glass and going for it.

  Kevin said something I didn’t catch. I was too focused on Emily’s downcast eyes saying so much more. And I didn’t like it.

  “What are you guys up to?” Billy asked, ending the silence.

  Emily sat a little straighter. “Kevin knew I was coming to talk to Finley.”

  “And I missed you,” he said on the tail end of her sentence.

  Billy jumped in. “That’s not all the truth. He did look a little bummed, and when I asked, he said that you were out with Finley. And I wanted a chance to see her again before practice.” Emily looked confused, I hadn’t yet told her about making the football team. “I convinced him to bring me here so we could run into you guys.”

  His grin seemed sincere, but I wasn’t sure if Billy was covering for Kevin like I had with Emily.

  “So what are you guys doing tonight?”

  Emily mouth remained shut, so I tossed something out.

  “I don’t know. My brother is having some people over.”

  “Sounds like a party. I heard you guys have a sweet place,” Billy said.

  How much digging had he done on me?

  “We should grab a couple of steaks and grill if you have one,” he added.

  The idea of going home and watching girls drool over Shep wasn’t appealing. I also knew I couldn’t stay silent if Kevin dictated what Emily could eat.

  “Yeah, that sounds like fun,” I said, trying to catch Emily’s eye. However, she just stared out the window.

  “Cool,” Billy said.

  He reached in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Before I could stop him, he slipped out of the booth and headed to the counter that lined the back wall.

  “Looks like we’re having a cookout,” Kevin said.

  “Is that okay with you?” I directed my question to Emily.

  “Huh?” She turned and met my eyes. “Oh, yeah, sure.”

  “Come on, babe,” Kevin said, slithering from the seat and holding a hand out to her.

  Noticing Billy on the way back, I moved out into the aisle before he could get there.

  “We can make a beer run after we get the steaks.” He glanced over his shoulder. “And I’ll get patties and dogs for you losers.”

  Kevin and he traded barbs as I followed them out. Emily wouldn’t make eye contact, so I left all my open questions for another time.

  By the time we arrived at the house, August’s company was there. Three girls lounged on the sofa around the guys. Cooper and Finn weren’t anywhere in sight.

  “It’s a party,” Billy announced, holding up a six pack of beer.

  A girl Shepard called Lacey got up and sauntered over with the look of someone very familiar with Billy.

  “Grill out back?” Billy asked, playing keep away with the beer from the short girl reaching her hand up for it.

  August glared at me, and I glared right back. No way he thought he could have people over and I couldn’t. “I’ll get the grill started,” he said.

  Everyone headed outside. I had the food and started hunting down pans to put the cooked food in. I also planned to season the meat so it wouldn’t be tasteless. When I turned around, I noticed Shepard. He’d hung back as everyone made for the back door.

  “Finley.”

  Those damn blue eyes of his pleaded with me. I would eventually forgive him for the pity kiss, but right now, it was too fresh.

  “There’s nothing else to say.” I turned my back to search for spices.

  “Is that why you didn’t return my text messages?”

  My phone had buzzed nonstop, and I’d ignored it. When I faced him again for a second, he looked like he wanted to say something. What didn’t I know?

  “So he’s who you want?” he asked.

  What was that supposed to mean? It wasn’t like he offered himself. I wisely held that comment in. Maybe he thought he’d give me a peace offering by not interfering like he and August always did.

  “My choice, right?” I said noncommittally.

  Lacey came inside with grabby hands reaching out for him. “Come on, party’s outside.”

  He allowed himself to be taken away while my nails bit into my palms. Come on, Finley. He’s not the last guy on earth. Then my mind started playing tricks on me. Had I given him a chance and listened, would he have told me he liked me? I quickly shook that notion off. Every girl I’d seen him be with was short and curvy. I was neither.

  As I slit open the package of steaks with a butcher knife, I cut my finger.

  “Damnit,” I muttered just before Billy came into view.

  “Everything okay, beautiful?”

  He moved into my personal space, took my hand, and pulled it toward his mouth.

  I yanked my hand back. “No, that’s gross.”

  His grin was too adorable; I smiled as his turned wicked.

  “I wouldn’t mind swapping bodily fluids with you.”

  His wink only solidified that he was trouble. His little comment suggested he wanted more than I was ready to give.

  “I’m not hooking up with you,” I warned and dodged a grab he made for me.

  There was no point in letting him believe otherwise.

  “Maybe you’ll change your mind . . .”

  “And maybe you’re wasting your time?”

  He pointed at me. “God, I like you.”

  His silly grin made me laugh. I couldn’t help it, and I needed someone to help me get over Shepard.

  10

  shepard

  How had
this happened? Billy was holding court in our backyard with his arm slung around Finley, and she looked fucking ecstatic. Even Finn smiled at whatever the guy was saying.

  A hand waved in front of my face. I blinked and focused on August.

  “What the hell, man? Lacey’s over there ripe for the picking.”

  I cut a glance at the three girls giggling and pretending not to look our way.

  “Not interested,” I said.

  August’s neck got stiff at the same time his eyes bugged out.

  “What’s not to be interested in? She’s hot . . . got tits out to here.” He held cupped hands several inches out from his chest. “And an ass . . . It’d be a damn shame not to have that.”

  “Besides the fact that Billy tapped that—”

  His face scrunched up. “How do you know?”

  “Didn’t you see the looks they traded when he walked in? I’ll bet my life he’s hit it. And even if he hasn’t, she’s too clingy.”

  I went on to explain how she always seemed to be around after that first kiss she snuck in, to following me earlier.

  “Oh.”

  “Exactly. I get a bad vibe from her.”

  “That sucks for you,” he joked.

  “And Emily’s here.”

  That news ate away the grin he’d flashed me. “Yeah, so?”

  He was trying to act indifferent, but I knew otherwise. My gaze traveled back to where Finley and Emily stood with the intruders. Regret like bile rose in my throat. All the things I should have said when I’d had the opportunity and didn’t. I should have told her I wanted her.

  August’s focus had landed the same place mine had. “I can’t believe that guy.”

  I wasn’t sure who he was talking about, Billy or the guy sticking like glue to Emily.

  “Yeah, so what are we going to do about it?”

  He slugged my arm. Since his punch had come from less than a foot away, I rubbed at the stinging pain. “You’re the one that warned me not to do anything if I wanted to stay on the team.”

  “Yeah well . . .” Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the girls August had invited over heading our way. “I’m going to find Cooper.”

  It was an excuse as good as any in that moment.

  I disappeared into the house and realized too late that I was trailing after Finley and Billy. They stopped at the island, and her head fell back. Her hair ran like liquid gold down her back, and my eyes found the curve of her neck. What would it be like to kiss that spot? Would she be sensitive there?

  “Shepard.”

  My name out of Lacey’s mouth was like sandpaper in my ear.

  Too bad, she’d caught the attention of everyone in the room as I headed for the stairs.

  “Where are you going?” Lacey persisted.

  Everyone seemed to wait for my answer, but it was Billy’s smirk that sealed my fate.

  “Upstairs,” I muttered.

  “Can I come?”

  “Can you?” It was too late to take it back after I said it.

  I hadn’t meant anything like the double meaning suggested. But she followed me upstairs, and I did nothing to stop her.

  Once I got there, I realized how I really didn’t want her in my room. I opened the door and tried to rein in my anger. It was my fault really, not hers. I could, however, rectify it now.

  I’d sat because it felt weird to stand and loom as she walked in. Her eyes immediately went to my guitar.

  “Do you play?” she asked.

  It was a legitimate question, but it still grated on my nerves. I shrugged, afraid what I might say would piss her off, and so far she’d done nothing wrong.

  My momentary lapse in judgement allowed her time to spot my notebook and make a beeline for it. I gritted my teeth as she opened it and started reading my words.

  “Wow, you could be talking about me,” she said.

  Her big brown eyes pinned me. “My mom used to say my eyes were like honey drops. My dad would agree because he said I was so sweet.” Her smile faded. “Then he would tell her they reminded him of whiskey.”

  For a second, I thought she shuttered from the haunted look that came over her. She set down the book and rubbed her arms. Whatever she had felt a moment earlier, she shook off before she crawled on the bed.

  “You seem tense.”

  I could have said the same but didn’t want to encourage her. She moved to settle herself behind me. Her hands found my shoulders and worked the knots that were there. She was surprisingly strong for such a tiny girl.

  “You’re not going to say anything?”

  Her voice had grown cooler, which was probably better for me. Maybe she would walk out, and I wouldn’t have to be the one to tell her to go.

  “What do you want to hear?”

  I didn’t bother to hide my annoyance.

  Either she didn’t care or hadn’t noticed. “Who’s the girl you’re writing songs about?”

  Not you popped in my head. “No one.”

  “Really because it seemed really intense.”

  “Like I said, no one.”

  If I thought the terseness of my response would get her to back off, I was wrong.

  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

  I would regret a million times over the honesty of my answer. “No.”

  “Hmm,” she murmured, encouraged by my reply.

  Her hand slid down my chest and grabbed my dick before I could stop her.

  As a guy, there were some things I had no control over. In an automatic response, I began to stiffen until my mind visualized the face the hand belonged to and things stopped. I was as hard as a garden hose before the water was turned on, and she felt it.

  Immediately, the impromptu massage ended.

  “What is your problem?” she asked after getting off the bed to stand in front of me with her hands on her hips.

  I calmed my temper and reminded myself that she wasn’t my problem. I was my problem.

  “Look, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this right now.”

  That turned out to be the exact wrong thing to say.

  “What? You’re turning me down?”

  She said that like she was the daughter of my coach or the president of the school. I ran a hand over my face.

  “Lacey, you’re hot, but—”

  “But—”

  “But you should go.”

  There was so much surprise on her face, I doubted she’d ever been turned down for anything in her life.

  As she sputtered, I got to my feet and opened the door. I stared out into the empty hall not wanting to make eye contact with the chick. She was bat shit and wasn’t done.

  She aimed a sharp nail at my nose. “It’s probably for the best. You might be a creeper writing songs about stalking girls.”

  Why had I let her read my lyrics? I’d used that term because it was the easiest way to express the depth of how I’d watched the girl I’d loved. I hadn’t meant it in a psycho way.

  “It was just a word, not an action.”

  Why was I explaining myself to this girl?

  She was saying something else, but I only caught the tail end.

  “Don’t think you’ll get away with this,” she said.

  “With what?”

  Her face morphed from fury to tearful in seconds. Then she dashed down the stairs, leaving me wondering what the hell had just happened.

  I shook my head, closed my room door, and fell on my bed. The ceiling had to hold the answers to the universe or maybe the back of my eyelids did. Almost nothing had gone right today.

  I might have been able to fall asleep, but August barged in. I would seriously have to start locking my door.

  “What the hell?” he asked from the doorway.

  I slowly turned my head, not sure what had his panties in a knot.

  “What?” I snapped.

  “Lacey came barreling outside, crying and shit. She took the
girls with her saying she had to go.”

  I rolled my eyes. “She followed me up here, and I basically told her to get lost. She doesn’t take rejection well.”

  He slowly shook his head like I was the one who’d lost his mind. And maybe I had. She had a body on her. But one taste of Finley and no one else would do.

  August said nothing more, just shut my door. I locked my hands behind my head and wondered what my next move would be.

  A muscle ticked in my jaw as my dad entered my thoughts and all the things he’d done that landed him behind bars. When that happened, my life had changed overnight. There had been so many things I’d done to survive that experience.

  Talking to Finley should have been easy. She’d been a ray of light in the darkness I’d been plunged into. And when I’d been given the opportunity, my one play for her had turned into a massive fumble, and Billy was left holding the ball.

  There was only one move left. I could never force myself in her life. If she didn’t want me, then it was time to move on.

  11

  finley

  The car ride to the field in the morning was unusually quiet. I worked hard at not glaring at Shepard or scowling at August. Only Cooper didn’t deserve my scorn. But the other two? I mentally shook my head.

  After Shep disappeared upstairs last night with Lacey, I’d gone back outside with Billy who regaled Kevin and Emily with the story about how I’d made the team. I had to admit, Billy was an excellent storyteller. He held their rapt attention, and we hadn’t noticed August and the two other girls had left the backyard. I’d done my best not to imagine anything happening in the bedrooms upstairs.

  That morning August wasn’t in a joking mood. Neither he nor Shep acted like two guys that had gotten laid. Then again, what did I know about it? I was still a virgin. Maybe sex didn’t make you happy like the rumors led on.

  We arrived at the complex, and I was still a little starry eyed. It was surreal that I was there, even more so when I walked into the boy’s locker room behind my brothers and Shep. Though I’d seen female reporters in NFL locker rooms, I wasn’t here to report the news. I was there to be a part of it and see if we could make a bowl game by the time the regular season was over.

  “Farrow.” My siblings and I all turned. A guy not much older than I was pointed in my direction. He was the equipment guy and had taken my measurements yesterday. That had been awkward.