Changing Hearts Read online

  “I think I see her. I’ll catch you guys later.” Chance was gone before I could follow what direction he’d gone. He disappeared in the crowd and I lost my chance at seeing if Brie had brought her blond friend.

  “So I hear you can give a girl the ride of her life.”

  I grinned. My reputation was already making the rounds. What more could a guy ask for?

  “It depends. Who’s Evans to you?”

  I spat the last name of our team captain out of my mouth like I’d accidently drank spoiled milk.

  “He’s—”

  “Brittney.” A tiny girl ran over and grabbed her by the arm. “You have to come. Daria is having a meltdown.”

  Brittney gave me a sad smile. “I’ll find you later.”

  Later didn’t come. I ended up making one of the worst decisions of my life. One that would affect me for the rest of my time at Layton University.

  NINE

  SHELLY

  Looking in the mirror was torture. Every criticism I’d ever heard replayed in my head. You’re too fat, you’re too skinny, you’ll never be as pretty as your mother or as talented as your brother. No diet, no amount of makeup, covered my flaws. So I learned to smile pretty and pretend I wasn’t broken inside.

  “I want to go,” Mia whined.

  My growling stomach made me grimace. The only thing I’d eaten today was a cup of soup at lunch. I masked my pained expression by pressing my lips together and blotting them on a piece of tissue paper. Then I rolled them to evenly spread the stain on my lips. Catching my friends staring at me, I remembered to grin like I’d impressed myself with my mad makeup artist skills.

  “You seriously want to go to a frat party?” Brie asked.

  I wouldn’t call myself a party girl, but I planned to make the most of my last few years of freedom from responsibility.

  “Of course. This is college. We’re finally free to do what we want and we don’t have to worry about bills and shit. We have to experience everything at least once.”

  Brie didn’t appear convinced even though I’d used my best rah-rah cheerleading pep rally voice.

  Mia clapped while bouncing on her toes because she was a believer. “Come on, Brie. It will be fun. Won’t that Chance guy you like be there?”

  That did it. Brie’s face split in a smile and I knew we had her. I actually hoped Chance showed up with his friends. They were all scorchers.

  Brie sighed and I thanked the gods that she hadn’t invited her friend Lenora. She was nice enough, but I had to admit to a little envy. She was the kind of beautiful that made guys do stupid things to get her attention. As harsh as it was, without her, we three stood a chance at possibly getting noticed. Otherwise, the only thing we would get were guys asking us to introduce them to her.

  The frat house turned out to be as cliché as every college movie I’d ever seen. Music poured from a house with dozens of people outside milling around with Solo cups in hand. Catcalls from some of the drunker guys made us laugh and we entered the party like we owned the place. I headed straight for the alcohol.

  “Thanks,” I told the shirtless guy manning the keg after he filled my cup. I drank it down before getting out of line and held out my cup for a refill.

  “Damn, girl,” he said with admiration.

  But I was just getting started. Brie grabbed my arm. “Do you think it’s wise?”

  “I think we should play beer pong.”

  One third of the trio of hot guys we’d spotted on the quad the other night strolled over. Chance was certainly lickable. I didn’t blame Brie for doing the deer in headlights thing as he entered her airspace.

  “Hi,” he said in that way that would make any girl’s panties melt.

  “Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. “Mia, let’s bounce. Brie, we’ll catch you later.”

  “I wonder where the other two are,” Mia said.

  My radar was already scanning the area, not that I expected either to be free of female company. We ended up watching a version of beer pong in one of the larger rooms. A crowd had formed because the loser could choose to drink or remove an item of clothing. Several girls were half naked as other guys rooted for the winning side.

  Just as the game was ending, Brie came back.

  “Okay, it’s our turn,” I yelled into the crowd.

  I yanked my girls forward.

  “No way,” Brie said, and Mia agreed with her.

  “Look, my brother played this all the time. I’ve got this.”

  What I didn’t anticipate was the trio of guys competing against us having way more experience at the game than I did. After so many drinks, I ended up removing my shirt, hoping to pull out a win, but we lost anyway.

  I sagged in a chair or the floor. I couldn’t quite feel my face, so I wasn’t sure where the hell I was.

  “Hey, let’s get you guys home.”

  “Home? No fucking way I’m going home,” I said to the face above me. “My mom will kill me if she catches me drunk.”

  A sexy chuckle had me trying to stop from spinning. When the world stopped moving, I saw Chance scooping up my girl.

  “Hey, if you hurt her, I’ll kick you in the balls,” I said, before I was lifted in the air.

  “I’ve got her,” a definite male voice said.

  “Who are you?”

  “Sawyer.”

  “Where’s Mia?”

  “Don’t worry, Ash has her.”

  Ash? Was he the super-hot third in the trio of gorgeous guys that included Chance?

  “What dorm is she in?”

  After I told him, I realized my mistake. I didn’t know the guy. How could I trust him with that information? So when he asked me where I lived, I refused to answer and shook my head instead. Though I stopped that when the world spun, making me vaguely ill.

  We arrived and I only knew that because I wasn’t moving. Well, my head still swirled. We were somewhere inside a house, was my guess. I let him continue to carry me up, because up is good, right? But who was my savior?

  “Sawyer.”

  “Yes, love.”

  “What are you going to do to me?”

  He chuckled. “Nothing. I’m going to drop you off in one of the rooms upstairs and let you sleep this off.”

  “What if I don’t want to sleep?”

  We stopped moving. “Sleep and you’ll have no regrets.”

  “I thought…you were…the most…fuckable guy…in school.”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “And you don’t…you don’t know what…what you’re missing.”

  I tried my best not to slur, which meant taking my time speaking.

  “If you want this, you walk into the room and strip,” he dared.

  TEN

  SAWYER

  The blond bombshell sauntered into the room on unsteady feet. Though the killer heels she wore made her legs look fucking edible, it could have been the cause for her unsteadiness. I ran my hand through my hair, thinking I had to be an idiot if I didn’t take the bait.

  Chance stepped into the hall and closed the door to his room behind him.

  “You’re not going to fuck Shelly, are you?”

  “Who, the prom queen?” Hell yeah.

  Chance narrowed his eyes at me.

  “Don’t lie—she looks like she should wear a fucking crown.” And I didn’t mean that in a bad way. She just wore confidence so fucking sexy.

  “Dude, just answer the question.”

  “Hell no. I promise I’m not going to touch her.” I raised my hands in surrender. “Besides, she’s probably passed out by now.”

  “Cool,” he said and shit got awkward as Ash came up the stairs.

  “Their other friend?” Chance asked.

  “We took her to her dorm. She wasn’t that bad off but refused to give us Shelly’s info.”

  I shook my head. It didn’t make any damn sense. She’d rather we take her to our place? Girls. Ash handed me a bottle an
d I took a swig.

  “Fuck, man, what is this shit? Liquid drain cleaner?”

  Clearing my throat didn’t help the burn.

  “Pussy,” Ashton challenged with a grin. “Got it from Tank. It’s Everclear.”

  We’d been trading dares all our lives and I hadn’t been able to turn one down.

  “Fine.” I tossed it back, drinking down half before handing it to Chance.

  He’d easily fit in our motley crew, but he wasn’t much of a drinker. Tasting the shit caused him to cough erratically before passing it back to Ash. My best friend eyed the door Shelly was behind. I gave him a slight head shake no and he gave me an answering nod.

  “I’m going to bed,” Ashton announced and headed to his room.

  “Don’t fuck this up for me by fucking her friend,” Chance warned before going back to his room, leaving me alone in the hall.

  I stood in the hall for a little while before entering the room I’d left Shelly in. When I did, from her perch on the bed to face the door, she shifted like she’d been caught.

  She was a damn heartbreaker who could lead me by the balls if I let her. Been there, fucked that up.

  “Come here, handsome,” she slurred.

  My dick forced my feet forward and I ended up sitting next to her. Immediately, her nails were in my hair, scraping across my scalp.

  “Fuck, we can’t do this.”

  “We so can. Someone told me once that there are times in your life where you just go for it. This is one of those times.”

  My Everclear-clouded brain thought for sure she made so much fucking sense. Next thing, we were in a heap on the bed, tangled legs with roaming hands. I pushed her shirt up to suck on her tits. Her hands were in my pants and around my dick. Before I could say no, we were naked with me crawling between her legs. She’d come once and I was about to strike.

  I didn’t think; I acted on lust alone that she fueled every step of the way. The rest was a blur. I woke with someone jabbing something sharp in my chest.

  It took more than blinking to clear away the cobwebs that were my brain.

  “What?”

  My throat was on fire. I must have swallowed hot sand.

  “You need to go.”

  Though the voice was calm, there was regret in it. Parts of the night came back and I put together the voice with the face.

  “Shelly.”

  “Yes. Hurry or else someone will see you.”

  I was man enough to admit that being on the receiving end of a brush-off sucked.

  “All right.” I held my hands up in surrender. “Give me a minute.”

  “No,” she said urgently. “You need to leave.”

  I didn’t know where my pants were until they were thrust in my face just as I sat up. I shrugged them on, not bothering with my shirt and boxers. She wanted me gone and no guy wanted to be where he wasn’t wanted.

  “Yeah, okay.” I took the rest of my clothes and didn’t bother to look back. I opened the fucking door and left.

  If she wanted to pretend like nothing happened between us, fine. I would play her game until the bitter end.

  ELEVEN

  SAWYER

  Senior year

  Summer was practically over and classes would resume in a week.

  “Sawyer, man, you’re ripped. What are you lifting?” Davis asked, and I told him. “Man, that’s diesel.”

  I resumed my reps when another guy popped his head into the room.

  “Cargill, Coach wants to talk to you.”

  I finished what I was doing before I put the dumbbells down. As I walked, I toweled off my face, having no idea what Coach wanted to see me about.

  “You wanted to see me?” I said when I poked my head in the door.

  “Sit.” He waved a hand toward the single chair in front of his desk.

  I slumped in it, not sure what I was going to be reprimanded for. Yes, I’d spent a lot of time in the gym. Funny how losing my best friend reminded me how lonely life was without him.

  “I guess you heard Jones is out.”

  Our starter, who’d been announced as the replacement of my former roommate, Kelley, when he’d left for the pros, had blown out his knee in practice. He would be out for several weeks and it was doubtful he’d return before the season was over.

  “Yeah, torn ACL. That blows for him.”

  “But not for you.”

  I hadn’t been fully participating in the conversation. My thoughts were erratic, trying to decide if I should go back to the gym after or grab some grub. Things were easier with Ash.

  As his words connected, my focus sharpened. “What? For me?”

  “Yes, Cargill. It’s too late to recruit another quarterback and the freshman I have is too green. You’re in.”

  “But I haven’t played quarterback.”

  “Not here. Though you were always the unofficial backup. You have an impressive high school record. You know the playbook. You’ll do fine.”

  Not that my ego was inflated. That wasn’t the problem. I also wasn’t afraid of the job. But I’d been thinking about football for weeks. Before I could recall them, words leapt out of my mouth.

  “What if I don’t want it? I considered sitting out this year.”

  I’d caught Coach unawares, probably because I’d shown up for camp. It had been one of the excuses for staying away from my toxic household when I’d come from vacation. The few days I’d come home had been hell. Neither Ash nor Julie had come home, at least when I’d been back. Tomas had his own place. That left me to play referee between my parents.

  Coach rubbed his lined face. He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in weeks.

  “I don’t get it. Most guys in there”—he pointed toward the locker room—“would kill to have the job.”

  It was true. However, I wasn’t most guys. Although I enjoyed the game, it’d never been my ultimate goal to play for the pros. Ash needed football. If he didn’t play a team sport, he would have retreated from the world. Now that we weren’t talking, there wasn’t a reason for me to play.

  “Look, Cargill, it’s a lot to think about. I’ll give you until tomorrow to make a decision.”

  A haze followed me as I left Coach’s office. Chance was at his locker changing when I sat on the bench, not sure what to do next.

  “I heard,” he said, slapping my back. “I’m still team captain.”

  He could have that job for all I cared.

  “I don’t want it,” I heard myself say.

  Chance sat, hair still damp from his shower.

  “What the fuck, man?” He was pissed off. Chance was an even-tempered kind of guy. So the heat in his words kept me tethered to the conversation and not back in my head. “You and Ash have to work this shit out.”

  Ash. Everything had been fucked up since the night he’d told me he didn’t want to be with any other girls. Though I had my suspicions about his feelings for me, it had come so far out of the blue. I’d laughed and told him he was crazy if he thought I would ever give up pussy. He’d stormed out before I realized how serious he was. We hadn’t really talked since.

  “I can’t.”

  He’d already moved out. I didn’t think he’d actually do it, but he had.

  Ash walked in wrapped in a towel. He barely glanced at me before pretending I wasn’t there.

  Chance got to his feet and grabbed his shirt before turning on Ash.

  “We need him. Fix this.”

  Apparently, everyone had heard or maybe just assumed I’d get the job of quarterback before I did. My only remaining roommate stormed off, leaving me alone with my former best friend.

  It took him a long time to speak to me. For a while, I assumed he’d just ignore me.

  “If you’re doing this to avoid me, then you’re a bigger pussy than I thought.”

  Anger flared in my chest. I glanced up. His back to me, he dropped his towel ostensibly to get dressed.

  “You’re the one who left.”

  My words we
re measured and spoken at normal volume.

  He half turned in my direction. “As if I had a choice.”

  “No one told you to leave. You did that all on your own.”

  His flame throwing glare burned into me.

  “You know why I left.”

  I did, all too well. The reminder cooled the heat in my own eyes, replaced by something else, hurt maybe. I’d done everything for Ash, more than any friend I imagined would. In the end, he left. So what had been the point?

  Shrugging out of my shirt, I tossed it in the bottom of my locker. I stood and removed my shorts, wrapping a towel around my waist. On the way to the showers, I slowed to give my parting reply.

  “Why couldn’t things be like they were before?”

  He caught my arm before I could flee. Ash didn’t touch very many people and he liked being touched even less. The fact that he reached out gave me hope for our friendship.

  “The fantasy bubble you created was always going to pop. I need something real.”

  His stare was filled less with heat as it now contained hope. When regret filled mine, his hand fell away.

  “And I needed my best friend. I guess we both lose.”

  I walked away, spending way too long in the showers. The water poured over me and hid my pain. A few guys, who’d come after yet finished before me, made jokes about prunes or some shit I ignored.

  The water had gone cold and I didn’t notice until my teeth started to clatter together. The place was a dead zone when I got back to my locker. After I got dressed, my phone rang as if someone had waited for me to get my shoes on.

  A view of the screen alerted me to the caller.

  “Dad.”

  Eighteen years of calling him that made it a habit impossible to break. Hearing from him couldn’t be a good thing, as if my day couldn’t get worse. A call from my father was the lit match set to the fuse of the bomb that was my life.

  “Sawyer.” His tone was curt and I was about to get reamed for something. “Your coach tells me that you’re considering quitting the team.”