Captivated by Him Read online

  Dumbly, I nodded. “I’m not going to hook up with him, okay.”

  She shrugged. “Judgment-free zone. If he’ll get you to move past Derrick, go for it. And then walk away, because guys like him…” She shook her head and didn’t finish. She leaned in for a hug. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Lots of people.” She held up her soda and pointed to the crowd. “Free drinks. Good music. It’s not bad, actually. Go!”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  She laughed. “No you won’t. Have fun. Text me if you’re not coming home so I know you’re okay.”

  I nodded, feeling bad. I walked away trying to believe she was wrong. I wouldn’t be spending the night with Gavin anywhere.

  7

  gavin

  Watching Megan walk away, I had a feeling my plans for the night were derailed.

  “Dude, what is it with that chick?” I chuckled, thinking of her friend. “She’s got a hard-on for you.”

  “I think it’s just the opposite.” Tade wasn’t at all amused and he hadn’t spoken loudly. Good that I could read lips.

  “Does that mean you’re giving up?” I asked.

  Before he answered, Megan was back.

  “I have to go,” she all but yelled, eyes full of regret.

  I stared at Tade in a way he would understand. It was a do me a solid glare. “Bro, walk her friend home.”

  I had to almost shout to be heard over the music.

  “Fine.” He headed off and I turned to face Megan.

  She got on her toes and cupped a hand around my ear. “He didn’t have to do that. I should go. Reagan is not going to want him to walk her back.”

  That puzzled me. Tade didn’t hurt for girls—just the opposite.

  “Why?”

  She gave me a pained smile. “Let’s just say she has a no-boys rule.”

  Then it hit me. “She’s into girls. That’s cool.”

  She shook her head furiously. “No, I don’t think so. I think she’s been hurt before. I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

  I sighed and wondered for the millionth time why girls ran in packs and couldn’t do anything alone. I followed her outside and a smile twitched on my face.

  “See, she’s just fine.” I pointed.

  Tade and Reagan were dancing together. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up at my place tonight.

  “Don’t look all smug,” Megan said.

  I shrugged. “I can’t help it if I’m right.” I took her hand and moved to speak in her ear so I didn’t have to yell. “Come on. Let’s blow this party and make our own.”

  Her eyes grew in size, but she didn’t protest. Our place wasn’t that far down. The farther we got, the more the music faded. At my door, I pulled her to a stop.

  “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that something was going to happen tonight,” she said.

  I shifted positions, which left her pinned in a corner by the door. I stroked the back of my finger down her cheek. “Are you sure about that?”

  There was something about this girl, and I needed to get her out of my brain. The surest way of doing that would be to make good on all the ideas that I’d had about her since our first meeting.

  She muttered something, but I only heard, “I’m not that type of girl.” Had she said something like she wished she were?

  I leaned in and kissed her until I felt her sag against the wall. I snagged her lip between my teeth and slightly tugged before I pulled back.

  “Whatever happens between us is nobody’s business but our own. There’s no shame in the things that I want to do to you.”

  I sealed my vow with another kiss. The taste of beer was faint on her tongue and I was getting more than drunk by contact. I wanted her badly, more than any girl before her. But there was no way there could be anything more between us even if I wanted there to be.

  She ducked under my arm, her heat having already burned my skin. “See, it’s things like that and I know I can’t be that girl. Not with you.”

  I covered my heart with my hand. “You wound me, Angel. I might be the Devil, but I’m willing to repent if you’d take my confession.”

  Her eyes searched heavenward and I wondered if her halo might have dimmed some. I wanted to sin with her in the worst way, especially when her lips curved.

  “The only confession I’d take is that you’re becoming a monk because this is so not happening.”

  “Is that a challenge?”

  Damn her, I was a sucker for a dare.

  She laughed. “You are something else. But as irresistible as you are, you can find willing girls back at the party.”

  “Irresistible? If that were true, you’d be in my bed underneath me.”

  “Exactly! And so that’s why I’m going to find Reagan and head home. Movies and ice cream sound really good right now.”

  I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, but I had those things inside.

  “Watch a movie with me.” Her hair spilled over her shoulders as she silently told me no. I sighed. “At least let me walk you home.”

  She pulled out her phone and started texting, most likely contacting her friend. I said a silent prayer that Tade had her locked up and maybe Megan wouldn’t feel like she needed to go.

  “She’s home,” she muttered. “If you want to walk me, you can. But I can make it on my own.”

  “Lead the way.”

  I had to adjust myself; it was going to be an uncomfortable walk. When I glanced up, I got an eye full of her fantastic ass and had to catch up if I didn’t want fucking blue balls tonight.

  When we were side by side, she cast me a look. “And don’t think you’re talking your way up to my room. It’s a boy-free zone.”

  I chuckled. “You’ve made your point. Believe it or not, I don’t have to beg.”

  It was her turn to laugh. “Your ego knows no bounds.”

  “It’s not ego, Angel. It’s a fact. And though you are on a short list of girls who have turned me down since before high school, it’s cool.”

  She stopped in front of a red brick building, and now I knew which building held her dorm. I filed that away for future reference.

  “Well, it’s healthy you learn that not all women are susceptible to your charms.”

  Her warm palm reached up and patted my cheek. I captured her wrist and turned it to press a kiss to the skin at the juncture of her hand and arm.

  “Never say never, Angel. I might corrupt you yet.”

  Her parted lips were enough to let a smug smile grow on my face. I winked at her before I left. I didn’t turn back to make sure she was safely inside until I heard the door close. I spied her walking upstairs through the glass door. Damn, that ass of hers was going to be the death of me.

  I didn’t go back to the party, though I knew I could find a willing hookup. Something told me that no girl there could live up to my expectations for the night.

  Tade sat on the sofa with a game controller in hand when I walked in.

  “Struck out?”

  He shrugged. “She’s not my type.”

  I laughed and plopped down. “You’re lying out your ass. She turned you down.”

  “You can’t possibly laugh. You’re back early.”

  “She’s a work in progress.” I hadn’t exactly given up.

  She’d been hot and ready for me in the bathroom until her friend had killed her mood, or so I told myself. Plus, she’d all but dared me, and game on. I’d have her in my bed by next weekend. That much I was sure of.

  A small part of me challenged that she was much more than a game because I had no desire to hurt her. She wore a smile as easily as some sported frowns. If more people like her existed in the world, it would be a better place. Even though I teased her, I wouldn’t kill that spirit inside her. Maybe it would be better to let her walk away no matter how badly I wanted her.

  8

  past

  Miss Connie from down the street stood in the doorway making moon eyes at Dad. He held t
he door so tightly, blocking her from coming in. His knuckles had gone white.

  “Thank you, but you really didn’t have to,” Dad said.

  “It’s no trouble. I felt like baking, but I really shouldn’t eat it. Keeping my figure.” She giggled.

  What was a figure?

  “I got to get Gavin ready for school. So I should go.”

  “Okay, sorry to disturb you.”

  He closed the door on anything else she might have said. I went back to eating my cereal when he glanced at me.

  The pie landed with a thud on the counter. Dad let it fall from his hands like it burned him.

  I couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. “She wants to kiss you.”

  Though I laughed, Dad looked like he’d bitten into something sour. “What do you know about that?”

  People kissed all the time on TV.

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen,” he added.

  He eyed the pie like it might explode. It smelled like heaven to me and brought back memories of a better time.

  “Because of Mom?” I asked.

  Dad only looked over at me briefly before busying himself with putting the cereal box back in the cupboard.

  “I told you I don’t like to talk about your mother. And Connie is a good woman. I won’t let them use someone else against me.”

  I’d heard that before. It was the reason I couldn’t see my grandparents or my aunt. Dad didn’t want them to get hurt by the people who’d killed my mother.

  “And you remember to hide if they come around. I don’t want you on their radar.”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  His phone rang and his sour look returned as he glanced at the screen. When he answered, he shifted so his back was to me and started pacing away. I could only hear what he said, but it was enough.

  “Yeah.”

  He’d made it to the front window while he listened and peeked out.

  “I can’t. I’m pretty sure someone is watching the house.”

  As Dad turned, I scooped more cereal in my mouth and focused on the library book I had opened next to me.

  “No.” Dad’s voice sounded firm. “He’s too young. I won’t do—” The call must have ended, because he said my name next. “Go get your backpack.”

  I hadn’t finished my breakfast, but when he spoke like that, he didn’t want an argument.

  I hopped off my stool, walked down the short hallway to my room, and grabbed my backpack from the floor. When I came back into the front room, Dad had his hand out. I gave the bag to him.

  “Finish eating.”

  Dad opened the door that led to the small basement. It was where he did all the work for the bad people. It’s also the place where he hid money in the walls. We had a lot of it, but Dad explained we couldn’t spend one dollar of it. That was the reason I had thrift shop clothes and shoes that were too tight.

  There was no way I could eat. I put my bowl in the sink and filled it with water. I washed it and turned on the garbage disposal to hide the evidence. Hopefully, Dad was too busy with what he was doing downstairs to notice.

  I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and got ready to go. I walked back in thinking I had time to watch some TV, but Dad stood as if waiting for me.

  He held out the bag. I took it without saying anything and ignored the fact that it felt heavy like he’d added bricks to it. I tried not to flinch as I managed to get it on my back. Dad sat on the arm of the couch, putting us eye to eye.

  “You are to go to school—”

  “But I still have ten minutes,” I said.

  “You are to go to school, now. Enter the front and go out the backdoor to the big tree by the swings. Stand behind the tree so no one in the school can see you. Jimmy will meet you there. Give him the bag from your backpack and don’t look at it. Just get back in the school. Don’t speak to anyone until you’re done. Got me?”

  “But—”

  “Repeat it back to me.”

  I did, almost word for word. I had a good memory. That’s why I did so well in school.

  He stroked a hand down my head like I was a puppy, then did something he hadn’t done since Mom’s funeral. He kissed the top of my head and brought me in for a hug.

  “I’m sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I’d only wanted a better life for us. And I promise this is the only time you’ll do this. I swear.”

  He pulled back from me so fast, I almost lost my balance.

  “Now get out of here. Don’t stop for anyone.”

  I nodded. When I reached the door, I hesitated.

  “Don’t stop for anyone,” he repeated. “And don’t look back. This is just another day, okay?”

  I sucked in air, determined to do what he asked. I opened the door and then closed it. I was smart enough not to look around for whoever Dad said was watching the house. I scooped up my bike, a BMX. Dad had gotten it at a yard sale. It had been rusted out, but together we’d cleaned it up and painted it. I’d added some decals to make it my own, although I was almost too big for it now.

  He hadn’t specifically told me not to struggle with the weight on my back, but I knew not to. I got on and had to stand to get the pedals turning before I settled back in the seat. School was only about four-and-a-half blocks away. I was almost there when a man stepped into my path.

  “Hey, kid.”

  My heart nearly stopped. He’d come out of nowhere, scaring the piss out of me. I didn’t stop. I darted into the street and a car honked at me. I kept going the final block to the school. I practically jumped off and left the bike to fall, not bothering to lock it up.

  That was real smooth. If it wasn’t obvious already that I was up to no good before, now it was clear I was probably doing something illegal. Still, I moved fast past the principal. She said my name with a smile.

  I wasn’t exactly popular—I was the poor kid who couldn’t afford new clothes and ate free lunch. Some days I wanted to tell them my dad had more money than God. But I’d always been good at keeping secrets.

  I almost stopped. Ashley, with her pretty brown hair and big smile, walked by and waved at me. She was the cutest girl in school and had always been nice to me. I waved, but kept going, darting down an empty hall to the backdoors. A teacher came out of a room and said something, but I slipped into the boys’ bathroom to avoid her. I breathed a few seconds, wondering if I’d be followed. Dad warned me not to stop, but she would follow me outside if I’d kept going. I peeked out and she was gone.

  The doors weren’t locked and I pushed through them. No one was out back and I ran to the tree like I’d been told and hid behind it. I sank down and sat, determined to look at what was in my backpack even though Dad had told me not to. I had a right to know what I was doing. If anyone caught me, I’d be punished, not Dad. I had my backpack partly unzipped when a familiar voice rang out.

  “Hey, kid.”

  Bear—Jimmy, as Dad called him—loomed over me. I didn’t like that and scrambled to my feet. Somehow though, I kept the hate from my eyes. I promised Mom in my prayers every night before I went to sleep that I would avenge her one day.

  I sank my hand blindly into my pack and easily felt the paper bag that didn’t belong. I yanked it out and handed it over, never once meeting Bear’s eyes lest he saw how I really felt about him. I didn’t wait for him to respond; I fisted the top of my backpack, sealed it closed, and ran back to the school. Bear’s chuckles followed me until the door closed me inside and sealed him out.

  “Mr. Volk, what were you doing outside?”

  I looked up into the principal’s expectant gaze.

  “I lost something yesterday and thought it might be there.”

  The lie came too easily from my mouth. I hadn’t had to think about it.

  “Well, next time, wait. It’s not safe for you to be on your own. Anything could happen.”

  Anything had happened.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She nodded, satisfied with m
y response.

  Later I would have time to think about lying and why it came so naturally to me. Then again, I would find out that my dad was just as good at it. Because his promises meant nothing even if he wanted them to. That would be the first and not the last time I was brought into what Bear would call the family business.

  9

  megan

  His lips, so soft and so warm on mine, moved down my jawline and seared my neck. I arched into his palm as he squeezed my breast and rubbed the pad of his thumb over my nipple, bringing it to a peak.

  I wanted so much more and wrapped my hand around his wrist, guiding him where I needed him the most. He chuckled against my chest and I glared at him, aching for much more.

  His fingers only glided over my sensitive nub, getting me closer to my destination, but not quite there. Damn him.

  The elusive orgasm I’d sought since my first time still hovered just out of reach.

  “Please,” I begged.

  The sound of my voice woke me up and I snatched my hands from between my legs. I sat up so fast, the mattress rocked.

  It wasn’t quite light out, leaving my room bathed in shadows, but it was clear I was alone.

  I pushed at my hair. I’d just had a sex dream about Gavin. Seriously. I’d had the opportunity to go there, but I’d done the sensible thing and walked away.

  My first time had been clumsy at best. We’d been in love, or so I thought. After he did the deed in what was surely a world-record time, we’d broken up not long after. My second waited me out, telling me how much he loved me. When I once again gave in, he soon broke up with me, saying that he’d be going off to college soon and he wanted me to enjoy my senior year.

  Derrick had been different. I hadn’t been in the market for a boyfriend, but he’d convinced me otherwise. Sex had been okay, but the elusive O had never come.

  The idea of a one-night stand to check if it was me or them had played in my head. But when Gavin led me to his door, I chickened out. A guy like him probably did one-night stands for sport, for which he most likely held the gold medal.