Changing Hearts Page 20

  The room grew silent. Mom wasn’t done, but lowered her voice. “If you had believed him, been there for him, maybe those assholes wouldn’t have beat him to death.”

  “What?” My voice was ragged as if dragged over rough ground.

  No one ever talked about how my uncle died. Mom turned to me, eyes damp with tears.

  “He was dating this hockey player. The guy’s fraternity brothers caught them. The coward didn’t want anyone to know and pushed Darrin off him like he’d made an unwanted advance on him. The drunk bastards thought to make him the object of a lesson. He died two days later from his injuries.”

  Dad looked lost, his face void of all color. I’d never seen so much emotion from him.

  “How could that happen?” I asked.

  Mom stepped over and took my hand. “At that time, there were still a lot of prejudicial people against same-sex couples. The families and the school eventually settled with Dad’s family.”

  “And I took that money and made an empire from it,” he declared.

  “Is that all you can think about? Your brother is dead because of intolerance.”

  “I did right by him. I married you, didn’t I?”

  Mom wrenched off her wedding ring. “Did you ever stop to think that I was forced to marry you? One pregnancy that my parents couldn’t fix because I didn’t tell them until it was too late, was okay. Another and I was disowned. I had no choice but to marry you too.”

  She chucked the ring in Dad’s face. It bounced off and scurried across the floor.

  “Where will you go?”

  “My sister said I could stay with her. Or maybe I’ll get a job.”

  “You’ve never had a job in your life.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe it’s time I do something different. Maybe I’ll go to Europe, find a place for me and our other son.”

  Dad gawked. “Don’t you do that, Sharon.”

  “He won’t be our dirty little secret forever.” Then she turned to me and bent down to kiss my forehead. “I’ll be by later.”

  Then she was gone.

  “Sawyer.”

  I couldn’t look at him. He’d lied to me. He’d known all along I was his and he’d lied to use me like a puppet. I turned my head to look out the window.

  “We need to stay on the course. The campaign is ours to win. Do this for your brother. Do this for Finn.”

  Then he too was gone, leaving me to be torn apart by duty to my younger brother. He was the only reason I’d step out on the football field again.

  I awoke later hearing voices in my room. I blinked against the harsh lights and caught sight of two people talking in the corner before Tomas stepped into my line of vision.

  “Little brother, you sure know how to get attention.”

  “You think I wanted this?”

  I reached for a cup of water on a tray in front of me. Tomas snagged it and handed it to me. Thirsty, I drained it.

  “Who’s talking to Ash?”

  I’d finally been able to make out who was in the corner.

  “Oh, that’s Frank, a friend. It looks like he’s got a thing for your Ash.”

  “He’s not my Ash.”

  “Sure. That’s why you look like a Pitbull ready to strike.”

  “We’re just friends.”

  “Keep telling yourself that.” Tomas patted my arm. “You’re going to wait until it’s too late.”

  The door to my room opened and Shelly breezed through. She smelled like summer, all sunshine and flowers.

  “Hi.” She gave a quick wave as her cheeks colored. My brother wasn’t exactly subtle as he leered at her.

  “Don’t mind him.”

  I reached a hand to guide her to the other side of the bed. She came willingly.

  “Oh,” he said. “I guess I see why you made that friends comment.” Shelly glanced at me, but I shook my head. Tomas was undeterred. “You’re certainly a pretty one. But then my brother loves to collect pretty things.”

  “Stop being an asshole.”

  “What?” Tomas said like I’d offended him. “If Jon would be more open, I would so love to—”

  “Ignore him.”

  Shelly laughed. “Is Jon your fiancé?”

  Tomas sighed. “Yes, and is so gay it’s a shame at times. I miss women.”

  “Like I said, ignore him.”

  “The heart wants what it wants. And as much as I’ll miss pussy, Jon’s it for me.”

  I covered my face. My family could put on a three-ring circus.

  Laughter had me glancing in the corner. Ash looked happy and I wanted it not to bother me, but it did in a way. It had taken me what felt like years to see him smile like that. And Tomas’s friend did it in minutes? Hours?

  My brother cleared his throat. “Frank, we should probably go. Sawyer needs rest.”

  Frank grinned at Tomas and held up a finger. Next thing I knew, he handed Ash his phone where the guy proceeded to tap on it. He handed it back and said something none of us heard before he got up.

  Tomas glanced down at me again. “I’ll see you later, brother of mine. I’m in town for as long as you need me. By the way, Finn is worried. I told him you’d contact him later.”

  I nodded before he and Frank left, leaving Shelly, Ash, and me alone. My parents’ arrival reminded me of something.

  “Ash, I keep forgetting to tell you my dad seemed to know a lot about the induction ceremony with the Vanderbilt Club.”

  It wasn’t exactly a secret society, so saying that much in front of Shelly wasn’t a big deal. The important thing was telling Ash about my father. It wouldn’t take much for him to put together that he may know one of Ash’s secrets.

  “We could skip it,” I added.

  That was code for we don’t have to join.

  “Whether we go or not doesn’t matter. That ceremony was planned before they decided who would get in. Besides, I’m expected to go.”

  Ash had been his father’s dirty little secret. Something they’d hung over his head. I hated the idea that all the members would soon learn Ash’s secrets. He seemed decided that he’d go. There was a certain level of wealth and power every member would gain in his lifetime by joining. Leaders of countries all over the world belonged to closed societies like this.

  My only reason for even considering joining was pissing off my father. Growing up with a disgraced name because his uncle had tarnished it hadn’t given him an invitation to a group like this.

  “You don’t have to do it,” I pressed.

  Ash sighed. “You don’t have to fight my battles anymore.”

  Shelly squirmed on her feet as I struggled to find something to say.

  “I should go and give you and Shelly some time alone.”

  “Ashton,” Shelly pleaded.

  She stepped in his direction with outstretched hands when the door opened and Julie walked in.

  FORTY-SIX

  Shelly

  A pretty girl only slightly taller than me burst in the room.

  “Sawyer, I took the first flight I could when I saw what happened.”

  Ashton paled while Sawyer glanced at me nervously until finally the girl turned and took me in.

  “Ash,” she whispered. She didn’t hesitate like I had before she hugged him.

  I took a retreating step back.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen the two of them. Hi, I’m Julie.”

  It felt like someone had reached down my throat and scooped out all the air as I stood there processing. Her name was familiar…When it dawned on me, I faked a smile. “I’m Shelly.” I allowed the confusion to show on my face. “I should go. I’ve been here for hours and I need to run home.”

  “Shelly, wait,” Sawyer said.

  “I’ll come back later. You guys should really catch up.”

  Points for me sounding all resigned when I’d felt anything but. She was the girl next door. The one girl Sawyer had loved. And now she was there, fresh from an airplane ri
de. Her words rattled in my brain as I walked fast to my car. I took the first flight I could when I saw what happened.

  Who does that if you’re not still totally invested in another person? Yes, I would be sad if say David or Roy ended up in the hospital. But I wouldn’t go see them. I might and it was a big might, wish them well online. That was about it.

  After a shower, I changed into one of Sawyer’s shirts to feel close to him. It was out of his favorites drawer, which had all the well-worn clothes that had seen several washes. It read:

  I’ve got a dig bick

  You that read wrong.

  You read that wrong too.

  It made me grin for a little while until I wondered what he was up to. Was it normal for me to feel so out of sorts? I hadn’t been this jealous with David.

  I paced around the island, trying to decide if the irrational moment I was having was binge and purge worthy. The salty chips and double chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream called to me.

  The knock at the door came as a welcome reprieve until I opened it.

  “Hi,” Sawyer’s lost love said. When I glanced around, she added, “Ash wouldn’t let me help with the groceries. He’s parking.” She paused. “Can I come in?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Stupid me.

  On her way in, she laughed a little. “I got Sawyer a T-shirt like that for his birthday one year.”

  I closed the door, trying to think of an excuse so I could change my clothes.

  When I faced her again, she looked nervous. “Ash tells me you’re Sawyer’s girlfriend.”

  Ash told her?

  “That’s me,” I said with false cheer. “And you’re the girl next door.”

  “Guilty.”

  She tugged out a long necklace from under her shirt. A well-worn plastic ring with faded gold paint that had seen better days was looped on it. I remembered Sawyer telling me about his proposal when they’d been kids. She opened her mouth, but the door opened and Ash stepped in. Immediately, I took a bag from his hand and helped him take it to the kitchen island several steps away.

  “Thanks.”

  He looked rattled and barely glanced in Julie’s direction.

  “I offered to cook. Sawyer is being released. His parents and brother are bringing him home.”

  She could cook too. Great.

  “Let me leave you to it.”

  I didn’t go to Sawyer’s room to find another shirt. With my luck it would have been yet another gift from her. Instead, I changed my top and sulked in my room, where I tried to call Mia. She was missing in action, which was kind of funny when I thought about it.

  Roughly an hour later, there was commotion coming from the living room. When I went to investigate, I found Julie tucked at Sawyer’s side. When his gaze lifted, we stared at each other a few seconds. I wasn’t sure what to do. He did, patting Julie’s shoulder and then heading straight for me. His mother smiled at me and then he was there, wrapping me in his arms.

  “You shouldn’t have left, firecracker.”

  That one sentence erased any doubts I might have had.

  “I wanted to give you time. You haven’t seen her in a while.”

  I didn’t want to guess at how long.

  “So? It was you I wanted to see, not her. Besides, they left almost immediately after you did. The doctor came in to discuss my future playing ability.”

  “You’re not going to play, are you?”

  He leaned down and kissed me. “Don’t hit me when I say this.” I glared at him, expecting him to hit me with some sexual joke. “I’ll stop playing if you start eating more.”

  I pulled back from him. “I eat.”

  He licked his lips. “Why don’t we talk about it later?”

  “Food’s ready,” Julie called.

  My stomach twisted. I so didn’t want to eat food prepared by Sawyer’s first love. Maybe his only love. He certainly hadn’t told me he loved me. Not that I expected him to. But now that he’d called me out on eating, I had no choice but to swallow whatever food was there with a smile.

  He kept his arm around me as we drifted back over with everyone else, including Brie and Chance, who’d shown up. The meal was simple, spaghetti and meatballs. There was also warm garlic bread and a tossed salad. Wine was poured and Sawyer made my plate as Julie looked on.

  As I nibbled on the food and listened to the conversation all around me, it felt like all eyes kept watching me.

  “How’s it going?” Brie asked, when Sawyer’s dad pulled him off to the side.

  “It’s fine.”

  “Sawyer’s brother is hilarious. I see why Sawyer always makes jokes.”

  “They lack filter, that’s for sure.”

  She lifted the drink she held in agreement. After taking a sip, she asked, “What do you make of Julie?”

  “Do you want a thousand words or less?”

  Brie laughed. “She seems nice. Do you think she and Ash have a thing?”

  He had been acting weird ever since she’d arrived.

  I shrugged. “I know Sawyer used to have a huge crush on her.”

  That was an understatement.

  “Seriously?”

  I pursed my lips, not willing to say more.

  “Well, he doesn’t act like it. He keeps glancing over here at you.”

  Yeah, because he’s making sure I eat. “Time will tell.”

  “Whatever. He’s got it bad for you. It all makes sense the way he teased you.”

  “I wouldn’t call it teasing.”

  “I get it. I didn’t want to see that Chance was serious about me too. But we’ve both known Sawyer for going on four years. When has he had a girlfriend until you?”

  Her brow arched as if she’d won that round and then she walked back over to Chance. After his dad left, Sawyer came back over to me.

  “Is everything okay?”

  I scowled at him with the dreaded plate still in my hands. “I don’t know. How should I feel after you accuse me of not eating?”

  “I never said that,” he whispered in harsh tones. “And why don’t we talk about this later?”

  “Okay, what should we talk about now? The fact that your one true love made you a special dinner for your return from the hospital?”

  “She isn’t my one true love.” His jaw clenched.

  “Really? That’s not what you told me.”

  FORTY-SEVEN

  Sawyer

  She was jealous. I tugged her farther into the living room, putting space between us and everyone else. I let some of my anger go and cupped the side of her stubborn jaw.

  “That’s because I hadn’t ever had anyone to measure my feelings for her against.”

  The corner of her lip caught between two of her teeth.

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I care enough about you to want you around because I’m not ready to let you go.”

  “How can you know that?”

  “Because I’ve been around enough women, including Julie, to know the difference.”

  She licked her lips and I desperately wanted to kiss her. But there was something I needed to say first.

  “You remember when you said I didn’t fight for you when you told me to leave you alone?”

  She nodded.

  “When I found out that Julie didn’t want me, it hurt. I won’t lie. It also didn’t hurt enough that I even tried to change her mind. But with you, I did fight in my own way.”

  “By pissing me off.”

  “Every chance I could.”

  “By standing up for me with David.”

  “Just waiting for you to see the light.”

  “You never gave up on me.”

  I shook my head. “I never did.”

  The kiss was slow and wasn’t hurried. I stepped her back until we met the wall. When she pulled back, her cheeks were flushed.

  “Someone will see us.”

  “I don’t care.”

  She did, angling her head to see around us. “
We’re being watched.”

  The corner of my mouth lifted. She must have spied the glint in my eye, because she grabbed hold of my arm. “Don’t. Remember rule five. No embarrassing the girlfriend.”

  “I think rule number one says something about marking your territory.”

  I grinned as I faced my family.

  “Show’s over. I’m going to take my girlfriend upstairs. If you need pointers, we can take a video. That excludes you, Mom, and you too, Tomas.”

  “As if,” Tomas said.

  The flames of hell burned on Shelly’s cheeks. I would pay for that.

  “Don’t think for a second that we are doing anything with your mother in the house.”

  “I think I can change your mind.”

  She held up her plate. “I thought you were concerned about me eating.”

  I’d finished and she hadn’t. I took the plate in one hand and snagged hers with my other. “I’ll feed you upstairs.”

  That got an almost grin out of her, but she held her ground.

  “Come on, firecracker. I just want some alone time with you.”

  “We’re not having sex.”

  I shrugged. “Fine.”

  Letting her walk in front of me was a bad idea, because it gave me all kinds of ideas. I let out a mournful groan.

  “That’s not going to work,” she said over her shoulder.

  In my room, she sat on my bed and I handed her the plate.

  “I’ll eat if you answer some questions.”

  “Okay.”

  “Why have I never heard about your brother Finn?”

  I stepped back and opted to sit in the chair instead of beside her. If I had to talk about him, I wanted to see her face. I ran a hand through my hair before covering my mouth as I sighed. It wasn’t a subject I liked talking about.

  “He’s my younger brother.”

  “Why did Tomas say you had to video chat to speak to him?”

  “Because he lives in Europe.”

  “Why?”

  My mouth went dry. “Dad shipped him off there.”