Changing Hearts Read online

  “He’s an insufferable pig.”

  “And you like him.”

  Her open mouth froze, but she didn’t deny it. “Do you?”

  “Yes.”

  The admission felt like a relief. She reached out to me the way I’d wanted my mother to when I was a child. Her arms dropped too.

  “You should talk to him.”

  I let out a strangled laugh. “You don’t think I have?”

  For so long I hadn’t had anybody to talk to about this. But I recognized in Shelly what I felt. She was in love with him too whether she’d admit it or not.

  She looked at me like I was a stray puppy or kitten. Gooey eyes and a soft expression covered her pretty face.

  “He loves you,” she said.

  “It’s not the same.”

  “His father is a royal ass. Maybe he’s just scared. You should make a move. Unless you already have.”

  I shook my head. “I would never…”

  My words trailed off. For so long, I’d hidden my feelings for him, thinking it was better to have him close than not at all. But watching first Kelley, then Chance be happy and in love…I wanted that too.

  “You should try,” she said. “He’s been absolutely miserable without you.”

  That made me feel guilty. He deserved better than that. And as much as I wanted to be, I wouldn’t be selfish. So I tried where Sawyer had failed.

  “Sawyer’s right. You should be careful with David. And…” I could do this. “You should try too.” Her silent questioning stare forced me to spit it out. “With Sawyer. You should try with Sawyer.”

  “Sawyer’s not interested in me.”

  “You’re wrong about that. I’ve seen the way he watches you. I’ve only seen him look at one other girl that way.”

  “Who?”

  “Julie.” I barely managed to get the name out above a whisper.

  I’d been torn between them, but had chosen Sawyer. How could I not? He’d loved her first and it had only been fair. I didn’t betray him. But in the end, I’d lost them both.

  “Sawyer needs you, not me. Go talk to him before he does something else stupid,” she said before leaving me haunted by thoughts of the past.

  Finally, I got my feet moving. If nothing else, I needed to save him from himself.

  By the time I got upstairs, I debated on whether or not to knock or just open the door. I turned the knob.

  Sawyer lay passed out on the bed. In sleep, he reminded me of the boy he’d once been. Then, in the rain, I had just wanted to feel something against my skin that wouldn’t hurt me.

  He’d been my savior by stopping the kids at school from calling me a freak, yet he wanted nothing in return. He let me be silent, talking my ear off until one day I returned the favor. I’d let out every pent-up word, every shout that had been muffled in my mind. Without judgment, he’d let me cry on his shoulder. He’d been my god and I’d shunned him for not loving me back.

  I lay on the bed next to him, our shoulders barely brushing.

  “Ash.”

  Startled, I turned my head to find his eyes still shut. He rolled to his side and put his arm around me. Unconsciously, he touched me with no reservation. In sleep, everything between us was okay.

  My body began to shake from emotion. I couldn’t help the release. I missed him. My world was lonely without him.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered, sounding so childlike. That was how I knew he wasn’t awake. “I won’t let them hurt you. I promise.” And he hadn’t. “I’ll slay every dragon that gets in our way.”

  I clutched at his arm and silently said, “I know you will.”

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Shelly

  My classes ended early the next day. I invited Mia over and strong armed Brie not to go to Chance’s practice to hang out with us. I decided to cook since they would miss the café hours for dinner if I had anything to say about it.

  While I drained the pasta, Ashton’s words rattled in my head. I don’t like Sawyer. Okay, that was a lie. I very much liked him and hated both myself and him for it.

  Damn him and frat boy looks. He could hardly be serious about anything, except Ashton. Though I hadn’t seen him laugh much for a while until the other day and all those dumb girls willing to line up to be his fake girlfriend. Wasn’t I his fake girlfriend? And wasn’t that stupid of me to think like that?

  “What are you thinking about?” Mia asked.

  “Nothing,” I lied.

  “You guys suck,” Mia complained.

  “Okay.” Brie took a deep breath. “What did I do?”

  “How about dating like the best guy ever?” Mia whined like she wasn’t gorgeous and couldn’t have any boy she wanted. “You weren’t in the café at lunch,” Mia went on. “He brought her this flower. It wasn’t a rose.”

  “A lily,” Brie answered.

  “Yeah. And you know what he said?”

  I shook my head.

  “He told her he wanted to bring her something, but nothing could come close to being as beautiful as she was.”

  Brie blushed. “He’s considerate.”

  “He freaking won the boyfriend of the year, hands down.”

  Mia then looked at me. “And David’s great too.”

  “Shiny endorsement, Mia.”

  She shrugged. “You’re so tight-lipped on what’s going on between you two. Plus, you never come around at lunch anymore.”

  “Lunch isn’t just served one time a day.”

  “True, but you have a free hour the same time we do. You just don’t show up often.”

  “I have things to do.”

  Mia wasn’t giving up. “You should be there to stake your claim. Your boyfriend has a reputation.”

  I knew all too well about David’s reputation. “I trust him.”

  “It’s not him you need to worry about. They say the guy is huge.” Brie’s eyes widened while Mia tipped her head at me. “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. And word is he’s worth a one-night stand and the walk of shame.”

  The door opened and the guys strolled in. Mia hadn’t been talking softly. So I wasn’t exactly surprised by what Sawyer said next.

  “Who’s doing the walk of shame? There’s no shame when you leave my room.”

  He waggled his brows with a goofy catlike grin.

  “They say the same about him,” Mia muttered.

  I turned from the stove with the skillet in my hand and poured the shrimp scampi over the linguini I had plated on the island.

  Sawyer forgot to comment and leaned over to snag one of the shrimp. I slapped his hand.

  “Stop, you’ve eaten,” I chided.

  “Ouch. That hurt. Besides, how do you know?”

  “Uh, the cookie in your other hand is a dead giveaway.”

  One thing I loved about the café and why I avoid it, were the hot, warm, and gooey chocolate chip cookies they offered daily.

  He shrugged. “I’m still hungry.”

  “Dude, at least let the girls eat first,” Chance chided.

  Sawyer mocked him by doing a whiny impression of him when he spoke. “You are so whipped, my friend.”

  “You wish you had what I have.”

  Chance walked up behind where Brie was sitting and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck. She giggled. Mia and I both rolled our eyes. Mine landed on Ashton. He hadn’t spoken, but I saw the longing in his eyes. I would talk to him later. I was just glad he was there. It felt complete to have all three guys together.

  “Take that shit upstairs. And don’t worry, Brie. I’ll eat your share,” Sawyer offered.

  Everyone laughed except me. I rolled my eyes and handed out plates to everyone but Sawyer.

  “That hurts,” he complained.

  “I wouldn’t want you packing on the pounds for all your adoring fans,” I said.

  That got some snickers.

  He held up his half-eaten cookie. “That reminds me, I need to pick a girlfriend.”

  I must have
lost my mind or it was the pained look that crossed Ashton’s face so quickly I almost missed it.

  “I’ll do it.”

  All eyes landed on me. “I’ve already done it once.” I faced Sawyer, who’d stopped chewing. “Your father will have an easier time believing you if it was me. Another girl shows up and there will be a lot of questions.”

  Sawyer walked over while shoving the rest of the cookie in his mouth. He slung an arm lazily around my neck and tugged me so close I almost choked.

  “So you want to be my firecracker, huh?”

  I shoved my arm back, but not far enough. Still, his grip loosened.

  “Let go of me, you ape.”

  “Thought you were my girl.” Then he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I can show you all the benefits upstairs in my room.”

  I ducked under his arms, finally getting away. My hair snagged on his arm and I had to push it out of my face while he laughed.

  “I see you got your cocky personality back,” I said.

  He held out a hand to me. “Let’s not talk about my cock in front of your friends. Wouldn’t want them to get jealous.”

  “You are such a tool.”

  “A screwdriver or a hammer. You know screw and nailing…”

  Chance chuckled. “You two—”

  “There is no two”—I gestured between Sawyer and me—“of us. I’m doing him a favor because he helped me out.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.” The peanut gallery all turned as one and put food on their plates like we weren’t in the room. “Speaking of telling, what’s David going to say when you show up at the game with my parents?”

  “Game?”

  “Yes, my parents are coming to watch me play. They’ll want to sit with my girlfriend.”

  I’d assumed it would be dinner again. When I glanced up from the floor, everyone was staring at me.

  “I’ll figure it out.”

  Thank goodness for Mia. “Get some food before it’s all gone.”

  “This is fantastic,” Brie added while swirling her fork in the linguini.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Oh my gosh. When do you ever eat?”

  “I eat.”

  Mia’s eyebrows rose after I snapped out my reply.

  Feeling bad for snapping at her, I picked up a fork and stabbed two shrimp and stuffed them in my mouth. Everyone stopped staring at me after that. Sawyer snagged the fork and plate from Ashton’s hands.

  “Thanks, man.”

  I shook my head and slowly chewed the food in my mouth. I made Ashton a plate before excusing myself. By that time, no one had noticed me. In the bathroom, I spat the food in the toilet, flushed it, and stared at myself for a second before a knock came.

  Sawyer stood on the other side.

  “What? Why?”

  All amusement was gone from his face, replaced by concern. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” I flexed my fingers wide from where my arms hung at my sides.

  “You don’t have to do it.” My stomach churned. Did he know? “Pretend to be my girlfriend.”

  “Oh!” I hadn’t been expecting that. “It’s okay. I owe you so much more. I feel like I should be paying rent.”

  “If you continue to cook like that, it’s payment enough.”

  The tight smile I gave him fell short as awkwardness grew like weeds as he just stood there.

  He pointed to the kitchen. “I should get back.”

  I nodded because what else could I do? Kiss him like I wanted to? He could be so damn sweet at times it was annoying. It was easier to deal with the sexist pig than the guy who’d tear down a mountain for his friends.

  There in the doorway, I stood like a fraud for a minute longer. One day someone would figure out my secrets. Then what would I do?

  TWENTY-NINE

  Sawyer

  I stuffed the last bite of scampi in my mouth and pointed my fork at Shelly’s friend.

  “You wouldn’t be the Mia Xander talks about?”

  Based off his very detailed description from the mass of brown curls on her head, gray eyes in tanned skin, not to mention the body, I was sure I was right.

  The blush was a dead giveaway.

  “He talks about me?”

  I nodded. “Yep, in the locker room.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Locker room?”

  Chance shook his head. “Don’t listen to him. Xander just warns everyone off. That’s all.”

  “He hasn’t even asked me out. We’re in the same econ class.”

  “He’s a dumb ass then. You could be my girlfriend anytime.” I winked at her.

  “She cannot.”

  How had I missed Shelly walking back in the room? When Mia’s eyes widened, she backpedaled.

  “It’s just I thought we already established that someone new would be a more obvious fake than me doing it.”

  I couldn’t stop half of my mouth from curling up. She was jealous. I would bet my life on it.

  “Besides,” she added. “If Mia wants a thing with Xander, she doesn’t want to complicate it by explaining she’s helping you out.”

  “And David won’t care?” I prodded.

  “David trusts me.”

  I closed my mouth so I wouldn’t piss her off. Something about the way she looked at me in the bathroom, vulnerably. I lifted my chin instead and made my way to the couch.

  “Up for SportsCenter?”

  The guys joined me. Ash was back and things weren’t so weird. We were good for now.

  While the reporter went on about the NFL, my thoughts drifted back to Shelly. Something was up. I glanced over my shoulder to see her dishing out ice cream in two bowls she pushed in front of her friends. She didn’t take any. Maybe she wasn’t feeling well.

  “Oh look, shit.” Chance scooted forward. “They’re talking about Kelley.”

  “Turn it up,” Brie said, coming to stand behind the sofa.

  Kelley played for the big boys. The reporter went on to say that his team’s starting quarterback had suffered several back injuries. Though the coach said he would start, the commentators speculated on how the rookie would handle the pressure if he had to go in his first year.

  “He’s number two over the veteran. Fuck,” Chance said.

  Brie started jumping around, saying something like she had to call Lenora. Figured they would want to gossip. Soon the chatter died as they headed into Shelly’s room to presumably call their friend.

  “So Kelley didn’t tell you?”

  Chance shook his head. He and Kelley had become best friends, having shared similar shit stories with their dads.

  “He’s pretty busy with practice and Mason.”

  “Yeah, and Lenora. At least I don’t have to hear the two of them banging every night. Listening to you and Brie go at it is bad enough.”

  “Don’t knock it. You should stop fucking around and maybe you don’t have to eavesdrop on us.”

  His eyes flicked to Ash, but quickly refocused on the TV. Neither of us missed it. I glanced away from Ash, regretting the awkwardness that reformed. I asked Chance about his plans for the draft to change the subject.

  The next morning, I was in the shower when the door opened. With soap on my face, I didn’t open my eyes to get a gander at who it was.

  “Ash, is that you?”

  There was a long pause. I wasn’t the scary type, but my balls were vulnerable. I quickly washed the soap off when a familiar voice finally answered.

  “It’s me.”

  My shock was quickly erased by my curiously.

  “Shelly?”

  “Don’t start. Your parents are downstairs sitting on the sofa talking to Ashton. I barely made it up here without them seeing me.”

  “Why are you hiding?”

  “One, they don’t know I live here. But two, Mia stole my toothpaste last night on her way to meet up with Xander. I can’t find where she put it. There’s no way I’m meeting your mother for the first time with mornin
g breath.”

  “Sawyer?”

  My dad’s voice sounded way too close. I pulled the curtain and met Shelly’s frightened eyes. I grinned. I couldn’t help it. Dad wasn’t going to wait for me to invite him in. The knob began to turn. Suddenly, water no longer rained on me. Shelly stood in the stream of water in a very wet white shirt with peaked nipples pushed at the fabric. Her shorts were stuck to her skin.

  I smirked as she gawked at my semi-hard cock.

  “Sawyer,” Dad said.

  I pulled the curtain back enough to see him poking his head in the door.

  “Your mother wants to know if you want to go out to brunch.”

  Shelly never looked sexier than soaked to the bone. I didn’t give her a chance to stop me. I curled an arm around her neck and let Dad see her face.

  “I’ve got that covered.”

  My dick ached with her plastered against me.

  Dad wasn’t shocked, but he wasn’t displeased either.

  “We’ll meet you at the game then.”

  I nodded and he disappeared. Shelly pushed me and I stumbled back, laughing the whole time.

  “You asshole. What is he going to think of me?”

  “That you’re getting laid. And you’re most definitely my girlfriend.”

  “I can’t believe you did this to me.”

  I placed a finger on my chest. “Me? You came into my bathroom. You heard the shower. You entered at your own risk. Then you got in the shower with me.” My dick strained to reach her. I fisted it in one hand and watched in comic relief as she tried not to glance down. “If you aren’t going to finish me off, I suggest you get out.”

  Chuckling, I watched her trip her way out of the tub. She was soaking wet and mumbling curses the whole time.

  “Arrogant, conceited,” and several other choice words left her mouth.

  “And you like it,” I called after her.

  I considered jerking off when I remembered there was no way she would go downstairs in her wet clothes.

  When I got out, I said my own set of choice words when I noticed she’d stolen my towel. I’d left my clothes in my room. The only towel left was the hand towel I’d been using. I covered my cock as best as I could and left a trail of wet footprints on the hardwood heading to my room.