Blinded by You Page 11

  Axel drew me up. “I should just give up, shouldn’t I?”

  I hated the genuine sadness written on his face and kissed his cheek.

  “She’s out there. You just haven’t found her yet.”

  “Or maybe she’s just too stubborn to see what’s right in front of her.”

  I patted his cheek and didn’t say anything else. We’d found some sort of weird friendship through it all. Though we didn’t talk every day or even every week, we did connect once in a while. And we could talk about anything as long as it wasn’t about us.

  Axel had a heart of gold, but he wasn’t ready yet. He may have thought he was, but he wasn’t. It was evident in the parade of women who ended up in his bed, including me that one crazy night.

  My heart longed for Jake. He was settled and knew what he wanted out of life. Axel was living every day with zero cares. He wanted to see the world and I wanted a vacation not a life on the road.

  Just as I was about to tell them goodbye, Grammie brought out two plates. A wave of hunger washed over me and I had to make excuses to myself that I had to eat, in order to stay. I told myself again that Jamie would be fine. Jake would never let anything happen to his daughter. That I was sure of.

  So we sat and ate. Though I didn’t linger when I finished.

  “Thanks, Grammie.”

  I kissed her cheek.

  “Where are you headed? Can I come?” Axel asked. There was the pout again and I laughed. “Don’t make me go back.”

  His pleading cracked my resolve.

  “Fine, I need someone to flex their muscles.”

  What I needed was him to help me move. Not that I had furniture or anything. But an extra pair of hands would make it happen quicker. Maybe I could make it in and out without crying.

  24

  Jake

  I caught sight of Jamie in the pen with Ed working with her fold. I’d also seen Honey’s car parked out front. In my current mood, I decided to deal with Honey first. Jamie looked happy and I wasn’t ready to spoil that if she asked me about her mom.

  What I didn’t expect when I passed through the front door was a man exiting Honey’s room with a box cradled in his arms.

  “Axel Spider,” I said with as much enthusiasm as one would acknowledge that they’d stepped in horse shit.

  He looked up and was a mirror image of the one I’d seen last night in the post. He hadn’t changed at all, not even his ridiculous hair style. He stopped in his tracks. Honey hadn’t been too far behind him and barreled right into his back, sending him a step forward until he caught his balance.

  “Jake,” Honey said, coming from behind Axel.

  Was that sorrow or just plain guilt in her eyes? I wasn’t sure what I felt in that moment. She took my silence to add whatever she’d been carrying to his pile. “Can you give us a minute?”

  He held her gaze as if silently asking if she was sure. She read it too and nodded. He sized me up and said to her, “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

  Points for me for not saying shit when he walked by. I couldn’t see what she saw in him. Yeah, he was what women would say something to look at, but there wasn’t much to him. He’d blow away in a stiff breeze. No way could he handle her like I could. Like I had, just the other night.

  Once he was gone, she glanced down at her nails before finally meeting my glare.

  “Jake,” she said again.

  It wasn’t lost on me she’d used my given name, well, my given nickname not once but twice and hadn’t called me Sugar. Of course she wouldn’t in front of her husband. Did she call him Sugar too?

  “So you were just going to leave without explaining yourself?” I asked.

  Though she looked remorseful, I wasn’t sure what I could trust anymore. I was two for two when it came to picking manipulating women. Clearly, my judgement was impaired.

  Her voice came out small, like I was the one breaking her heart when it was the other way around.

  “What’s to explain? We’ve talked about this.”

  I tossed my head to the side to wordlessly gesture to the man outside.

  “You brought him, though I shouldn’t be surprised.”

  “He came in town and I needed help. I hoped to do this quickly.”

  Who was this woman and what had I done in the world to deserve being broken twice? And even though I’d known Honey for far less time, what she was doing hurt so much more.

  “You know, it doesn’t matter what you to do me. But Jamie…”

  I closed my eyes briefly, knowing the world of hurt coming to my daughter.

  She held up a hand like I was the one wielding daggers. But after this, she’d caused more pain than any knife.

  “I promise I planned to talk to her before I left,” she pleaded.

  “And that’s it.” That was all she had to say. “You just waltz into our lives and make us all love you and then you just walk away.”

  Tears shimmered in her eyes like she had a right to cry.

  “You don’t know what it’s like to need your mother’s love,” she said, moisture starting to leak like a flood from her eyes.

  I hardened my heart to them because at first I wanted to reach out to her, draw her into a hug, and tell her everything was forgiven. But I was the one who’d been wronged.

  “Maybe not, but you’re the only mother Jamie’s ever known.”

  She covered the choking sound that leapt from her throat. I willed my feet to stay cemented to the floor so I wouldn’t console her.

  “I love her like my own. But she needs time with Tara, to get to know her. And you need to see if things can work out between the two of you.”

  The bark of laughter I let loose bore nothing resembling humor. “The only thing Tara will see is the back of jail cell bars.”

  Her eyes sparked with questions or concern. “What?”

  I lifted a hand to stop that line of inquiry. “I just need one thing from you before you walk out with your boy toy.”

  “Boy toy?”

  I didn’t bother to reply. “I deserve the truth.”

  She was good, maybe better than Tara. The look of pure ignorance on her face was Oscar worthy.

  “Truth about what?” she asked about the same time the boy toy popped his head in the door.

  “Is everything okay?”

  Considering neither of us had moved, he should have surmised the answer as his glance bounced between us.

  “About him,” I said to her.

  Honey sighed and then graced him with a smile some would call sad. The events of the past night had jaded me enough to label it practiced or rehearsed. Because someone who could lie to me with such utter ease had to work hard to perfect that look of absolute sincerity.

  “I’ll be there in minute,” she said to him, not yet answering my question.

  He took another few moments to assess the situation before leaving us alone. I might have appreciated the gesture if he wasn’t the obstacle between who I wanted. And even though she’d lied to me, my need for her hadn’t yet diminished. Wasn’t I the fool? Maybe it was stamped in ink for all opportunistic women to see.

  “The truth is I ran into him at my grandmother’s place and he offered to help me.”

  I chuckled and maybe that was from lack of sleep. The forced grin fell off my face.

  “So a rock star was just…” I wave a hand in the air. “I don’t know… hanging at your grandmother’s, someone he’s not related to unless there’s something else I don’t know.”

  “He’s a person like you and me.”

  She defended like the point of my statement had to do with his occupation. The point was someone like him doesn’t go to a random person’s grandmother’s house.

  I rubbed my forehead. “So you’re just going to pretend there’s nothing between you two.”

  She tossed her hands in the air. “We’re friends, not that it matters.”

  “You’re right about that. But I didn’t think you’d continue to lie
considering he’s right outside.”

  Her bafflement was a true testament to her pathological ability to lie with a straight face.

  “Lie about what?’ Her exasperation almost stopped me from saying my next words.

  She was so damn convincing. I just flat out said it.

  “That you’re married to him.”

  Her jaw dropped. “What? I’m not married to him.”

  The gall of this woman. “I saw the headlines.”

  She gave a slight shake of her head. “Did you bother to scroll down when you Google searched me?”

  She didn’t give me time to answer, brushing by me with anger filling the spaces between us. Though I thought she would walk out, she called Axel by name.

  He must not have been far, because mere seconds later she stepped aside to let him in the house.

  “Ask him?” she said.

  Something was off, but what I saw on Tara’s phone had been real. Tara couldn’t have manufactured that. And he was here with her now.

  When I said nothing, she asked him, “Are we married?”

  His frown turned completely upside down. “We were for a day and half. Best day of my life.” She thunked his arm. “Ouch.”

  He rubbed at the spot as I blinked.

  “But—”

  “It was annulled,” she said coolly.

  I had to eat crow and no way was I doing it in front of him. “Could you—”

  “Give you a minute?” he finished, though he didn’t look happy about it.

  I nodded.

  “Sure thing.”

  As soon as he was out the door, I was in her face, backing her against the wall.

  “Sorry,” I said and crushed my lips to hers.

  For a second, she melted again me. Then her hands were between us, breaking the seal.

  I stared into her eyes and she took the opportunity and used my moment of distraction against me. The slap wasn’t underserved. I rubbed at my throbbing cheek.

  “Your sorry isn’t enough,” she cried, a second before she made a dash for the door.

  “Wait, I can explain.”

  She whirled around and gave me back some of my own medicine. The laugh she let loose came without a smile. “Explain? Really? Did you bother to ask and let me explain before you became judge and jury?”

  She had me there.

  “Honey.”

  “No, I can’t. Not right now.”

  When she got to the door, she stopped as someone was there and it wasn’t Axel.

  25

  Honey

  Could this day get any worse? Jacque stood in the doorway with a huge smile.

  “Trouble in paradise?” she said, her eyes connecting with mine before landing on his.

  When neither of us answered, she half turned and pointed out the door. “Is that—?”

  “Nobody,” I said and then glared at Jake because we’d spoken the same word at the same time.

  Jacque eyed us suspiciously. “He looks familiar, but—”

  “Why are you here?” Jake asked brusquely.

  She looked at him like the answer was obvious. “Your father.”

  “What about him?” he asked.

  Alarm bells started ringing in my head. Jamie had been out with Ed and the horses. With Jake and my raised voices, Ford should have appeared.

  She filled us in. “He’s at my house, raising hell, muttering about card games and my dead husband. I tried calling you but got no answer.”

  Her focus was solely on Jake.

  “You just left him,” he spat.

  Her eyes narrowed. “I was in fear of my life. One of my hands settled him down and I drove over here.”

  “Fine,” he said. “I’m coming.”

  “Apparently, your help isn’t enough. You need my land. I want you as my husband.”

  He waved her off.

  “Now is not the time.”

  I felt like I was at the rodeo while the clown entertained the bull. Only I didn’t think Jacque understood how much of a spectacle she was making of herself. But if anger had horns, Jake’s was gratefully aimed at her and not me.

  “I should go.”

  I pivoted on my heels, but Jake’s hand snagged my arm.

  “Please, could you stay and watch over Jamie until I get back?”

  She was fine with Ed outside, but I couldn’t say no to a request like that. I gave him a brisk nod. He acknowledged mine with his own.

  “I’ll follow you in my car,” he said to her, gesturing with his hand for her to exit the house.

  The final look he cast me over his shoulder was too much for me. I glanced away.

  The door closed only to open again and Axel stepped inside. He opened his arms and I stepped into him. He was warm and safe. When he stroked my back, I was grateful for his presence. Then he said, “Sorry, dollface.”

  He hadn’t called me that since the one night we shared together. It was probably the thing that had endeared me to him in my drunken state. No one had ever mistaken me for a doll. They didn’t have a plus sized Barbie.

  “You love him?”

  His question hadn’t required an answer the way he’d said it. But I nodded, rubbing my tear-streaked cheek against his shirt.

  “It’s clear he loves you.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say about that. How could Jake love me with so little trust?

  “He’s a jerk,” I said.

  There was a rumble of laughter in his chest and I pulled back.

  Axel was earnest when he said, “He’s protecting his territory. I can’t blame the guy. In his position, I would have been thumping my chest too.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Over what? He didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

  “You don’t know what the guy’s day’s been like.”

  I glared at him.

  “Don’t get pissed off at me. I’m just saying that something else could have been on his mind and then I stumble out of your bedroom. We guys are pretty simple. His reaction was instant and not thought through.”

  I turned away from him.

  “I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve to grovel—” When I gave him a cold stare, he held up a palm. “—a lot of groveling. But don’t write him off. He’s a good guy.”

  “How can you possibly know that? You saw him maybe thirty seconds.”

  That was an exaggeration, but still.

  “That’s all it takes for us guys to determine friend or foe. There wasn’t menace in his anger. There was a lot of heart. He was angry because of how deeply he feels about you. If a guy doesn’t give a shit about you, he won’t take time to make accusations. He’ll tell you where the door is.”

  I couldn’t dispute his guy interpretations of things because Jamie walked in. Though she was back in her normal jeans and cowboy shirt, no one could mistake her for a boy. That haircut we’d gotten her had done wonders. She stopped when she saw us. I moved in her direction and she came running to meet me halfway.

  “You’re back,” she exclaimed, her little arms clutching my sides.

  Her smile was huge, but I don’t think she noticed she hadn’t stuttered. I took her hands, so I could kneel before her and give her a proper greeting. She laid her small head on my shoulder as I clung to her.

  “I missed you.”

  Her head lifted. “Who’s—” she took a breath, “—he?”

  I got to my feet and moved so we both faced him. “That’s a friend of mine, Axel.” To him, I said, “Axel, this is Jamie, Jake’s daughter.”

  If he was surprised he didn’t show it. We hadn’t spoken about Jake and his family on the ride over. I’d been a barrel of nerves and let him fill me in on the past few months of his life since we’d last spoken.

  He came forward and bent to her. “My, such a pretty girl. I bet you get asked to marry all the time.” She giggled and shook her head. “Well then, will you marry me?”

  Her laughter filled some of the cracks in my heart.

  “I can’t get m-m-marri
ed. I’m—” she paused and Axel waited patiently. “—too young.”

  He looked properly wounded. “Well, that’s too bad. Maybe twenty years from now.”

  She shrugged, but her grin hadn’t dimmed. Axel certainly was a charmer.

  Then she looked as though she were concentrating. When she spoke, I understood she’d been forming all the words in her mind before she spoke.

  “Will you stay for dinner?”

  His phone chimed and he held up a finger. He stood and went to the door to speak privately to his caller.

  “Are you hungry?”

  She nodded. “Okay, let’s go see what’s in the kitchen.”

  I took her hand more for my comfort than any specific need. It wasn’t far from where we stood in the great room with everything open.

  The refrigerator was bare. All the leftovers were gone. There wasn’t anything thawed I could cook. But there were a few options.

  “How about grilled cheese sandwiches and soup?”

  She gave me a vigorous nod.

  When Axel got off the phone, he came over to the counter across from me and folded his arms to rest there.

  “Can I borrow your car?” he asked.

  I eyed him and he glanced at Jamie, who was too close not to overhear anything we said.

  “Why?”

  I bent down and reached for a skillet. When I sat up, he mouthed 911.

  Fortunately, he didn’t have to explain more. Over the last few years, there were nights we spent hours on the phone. Axel didn’t sleep much. Something in his past created nightmares that made sleep difficult for him. During those talks, I heard all about the trouble he’d bail his brother out of. Usually it had to do with women and their boyfriends or husbands they’d completely forgotten to tell Diesel about. Then again, when a lead singer of one of the hottest bands in the world singles you out on stage, I think a lot of women develop amnesia.

  “I hadn’t planned—” When he looked over at Jamie, who was watching us intensely, I stopped what I’d been about to say. “Fine. But I’ll call you.”

  That was code for when I need you back, you better come.