Because of Him Read online

  “I looked great and I could tell by the way they kept staring at me that they noticed too. Other guys there were checking me out. Gigi and Jenny were annoyed with me. But could I really help that they weren’t getting much attention?”

  When she glanced at me, I shrugged.

  “Anyway, when the music started to play, I couldn’t help dancing. I was shaking my ass when hands wrapped around me. My eyes were closed because, yeah, I was feeling the beat. When I opened them, it was Derrick.”

  She didn’t have to say she’d hoped it was Gavin.

  “He turned me to face him and had the nerve to tell me what a mistake he’d made by breaking up with me.” She rolled her eyes. “Just when he leaned in—I swear, to kiss me—Gavin tackled him. Punches were thrown, curses were said, and it was a mess. I didn’t know what to do. My dress was barely holding my boobs in. I couldn’t lean down to break up the fight.”

  My jaw hung open. I didn’t call her out for saying his name. I was too caught up in the story. “And this happened last night?”

  “Yeah, but after the cops showed up, everyone pointed at Gavin for starting it. They took him away. Derrick was pretty messed up. I had to go to the hospital with him. But I couldn’t stop thinking about if the asshole was okay and if they’d leave him in jail.”

  I had some information I could share.

  “He called Tade and he went to get him from the hospital.”

  Her eyes widened. “He was there too?”

  I shrugged. “That’s all I know.”

  She sighed. “I hope he’s okay.”

  So much for her hating him. She stared into space for a second or two more before facing me again.

  “While I was talking to the cops and had to tell them my name, they thought I was the missing Meghan. Even grilled me if I’d dyed my hair. I had to show them my ID to get them to back off.”

  “She’s still missing?”

  “Yeah, it’s sad. She like vanished.”

  “I thought you said she’d done this before?”

  “That’s what people are saying. But you should have seen the way the cops reacted when they thought there was a chance I was her.”

  Though I was fighting my own battles with fear of the world, especially in light of her disappearance, the next day I forced myself to sit on the quad and study with my back to a tree. The weather was still warmer than normal for the season. The longer I sat there though, I started to shiver.

  “Coffee?”

  I glanced up into green eyes that hinted of summer.

  “Thank you.” I took the hot beverage and had it to my mouth a second after I spoke.

  I moaned as the heat warmed me from the inside.

  “You know, you really ought to go inside and study.” He glanced up at the graying sky and my eyes followed. “The temperature is dropping.”

  Gallantly, he held out a hand. I took it. Before I’d fully gotten my balance, his lips were on mine. My hand dropped and the coffee sloshed, spilling on my jeans. I may have even become a little weak in the knees. Or so I told myself as I moved back to brace myself against the tree trunk.

  When he finally stepped away, leaving my mouth bruised and cold from his absence, he reached for my hand and snagged my coffee with a smirk plastered on his face a second before he drank it. I opened my mouth and play slapped him with my hand.

  “Hey, no fair,” I complained.

  Though I wasn’t really mad.

  His grin blinded me. “Now I have an excuse to take you to get another one.”

  I put a hand on my hip and eyed him on an angle.

  “You did that on purpose.”

  His smile only cranked up higher. “I did. Our date got interrupted yesterday. With the weather taking a turn, practice was canceled. When I saw you there, my grand plan started with stopping to buy you a coffee. Now it’s your move.”

  Forming a grin of my own, I said, “So if I turn you down…”

  He put a hand to his heart. “Then I’ll feel really bad about drinking your coffee. So let me make it up to you.”

  That time when he offered his hand, my cheeks burned, embarrassed by how delighted I was he’d gone to such lengths. My heart took another dangerous step in a direction that could mean certain destruction, yet I took his hand anyway.

  Dumbly, I’d forgotten my books, his attention on me all consuming. However, he didn’t, and not letting go of me, scooped up my belongings before he took me to get another coffee.

  29

  PAST

  A grunt preceded his weight disappearing from my body. Something warm and wet ran between my legs. From a great distance, I heard him asking me what he should call me. With the urge to find myself again, I whispered my name.

  “Luana.”

  My mouth felt raw. A metallic taste touched my tongue. Had I screamed myself bloody?

  “You don't look much like a Luana.”

  I was surprised I'd even remembered my name. Sir called me pet. What did it matter what this man called me?

  He snapped his finger. “I'll call you Eve. Shit. That’s perfect. It was like fucking paradise…like being in the Garden of Eden.”

  Although my family wasn't religious, I’d heard of the story of Adam and Eve. Was this my punishment for lying to my parents? Was I being taught a lesson?

  Flat on my stomach, face turned toward the wall, I only heard the knock before the door opened. We’d been locked inside. Had they been afraid I could somehow get away?

  “Clean her up and get her ready.”

  The door clicked shut and then water ran. I hadn't had time to check out the room before the man pounced on me. I had no idea there was a sink.

  “Pet,” Sir said.

  A sick kind of relief came over me when I heard his voice. Maybe I’d be spared any more awfulness for now. A wet cloth slid down and between my legs. An agonized moan left my lips as he moved it across my bottom and the bruise I felt there.

  “That wasn't so bad,” Sir claimed.

  I’d been raped, something that happened to people on the news. A sob burst from my aching throat despite the consequences. I’d been unable to hold it back.

  No punishment came. Instead, he continued cleaning me up while talking.

  “He's a sadistic son of a bitch, but there are some far worse.”

  Worse? I didn’t think it possible.

  “Please,” I begged. I couldn't imagine what would happen later. How could anyone possibly enjoy sex if this was what it was like?

  More gently than he’d ever touched me before, he rolled me onto my back. My dress was gone and I couldn’t muster the will to hide myself. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen me naked and run his dirty hands all over me.

  He did something different that made me gasp.

  “Yes,” he said softly. “He could have made you feel good. Like this.”

  He stroked a finger over that place again.

  “Feels good, eh?”

  I didn't answer him, not understanding what I was feeling. But it didn't hurt.

  He added more pressure and moved faster, I panted as I tried to process what was happening. I didn’t want to like it. Yet, he hadn't put fingers inside me. I was so grateful for that, I couldn’t fight against what coiled deep inside me to a fever pitch. His mouth crashed down on my chest, sucking a tip into a peak.

  “I’m giving you this gift, pet. It’s unlikely that asshole will ever let you feel this good.”

  Though my arms burned with the need, I didn’t fight him off of me. Things could get worse. I’d learned it was better just to lie there.

  “Damn, you have the best tits. It’s too bad you’re sold. I could fuck you all night, you’re so fucking wet.”

  Wet? Had I been the source of the wetness between my legs after the man I decided to call Adam did his business? Then my body spasmed uncontrollably.

  “That's it, pet,” he encouraged.

  I hated him for what was happening. I didn’t want to feel that feeling inside me. H
ow could I feel something other than pain? It hadn't been as awful as what the Adam did, or all the ugly things Sir and others had done to me. But it wasn’t right. And I felt dirtier than I had the entire time I’d been kept here.

  “I want to go home,” I heard myself say.

  The voice that came out of my throat sounded young and naïve, even though that girl had long since died inside me.

  “You want to get off this boat.”

  Hope sprang inside me. I nodded.

  “Get on your knees and blow me like I taught you.”

  The hate I felt was as sharp as a knife. Yet, I asked the question anyway.

  “You promise to get me out of here and off the boat?”

  He nodded. Though I ached in places I didn’t want to be reminded of, I rolled off the bed and assumed the position.

  “Now beg to suck my cock and make me believe it.”

  Sir had never once lied to me. And he could make me do it even if I didn’t want to. So I did it. I begged, pretending in my head that I was begging to go home. When he took out the awful thing, I remembered everything he’d told me to do and did my best to be perfect.

  “Fuckkkk,” he said, forcing me to swallow his pleasure. He didn’t waste time after tucking himself back in his pants. “Get dressed.”

  He tossed a pair of stretchy black pants and a top from a bag on the bed. I hurriedly got it on before we were underway. Even though he’d never lied to me, a part of me assumed he’d do something underhanded. Yet, I followed him down a hall and up a dizzying amount of stairs.

  When he opened a door into the night and fresh sea air blew over my face, I turned to face where he still stood in the doorway, bathed by light. I was about to thank him.

  “Good, you’re here.”

  The voice sent horror that shuddered down my spine.

  Sir smirked.

  “You promised.”

  “And I delivered. You asked to be off the boat. Here we are.”

  Though what he said was true, I hadn’t been specific enough in my bargaining, I felt betrayed.

  “Goodbye pet.”

  Still in disbelief, I felt a prick in my arm. I glanced down to see the needle he held. Whatever it was made my body paralyzed.

  Sir caught me as I fell. My vision was already tunneling like Alice down the rabbit hole.

  “How long do I have?,” “She should be out a good eight to ten hours,” and “That should be long enough,” were the last things I heard before darkness took over completely.

  30

  REAGAN

  The café was actually colder inside than it was outside. The sun warmed me and I had to shrug out of my coat. I hadn’t gotten far when Tade appeared in front of me.

  It had been a few days since we’d talked. We’d both been busy with school and he had the added distraction of the rowing team.

  “Hey.”

  His baritone voice was warm and rich like dark chocolate.

  “Hey back.”

  He slung an arm over my shoulder, despite the audience we’d garnered. It seemed like every girl there had eyes on him. He tugged me close and pressed a kiss to my temple.

  “Tell me you don’t have class.”

  I was so embarrassed by all the attention, I kept my eyes glued to the ground.

  “I don’t have class.”

  “Good,” he declared.

  He stopped us in the middle of the path to the grumbles of people that had to walk around us. He pulled me off to the side.

  “Come swimming with me.”

  Shocked by his request, I angled my head up to meet his eyes. I was already shaking my head.

  “Besides the fact that I’m not a fan of water, it’s still winter.”

  Both were excuses. I’d been taught how to swim, despite all of Mom’s fears. Plus, the weather was great. I’d taken off my jacket.

  “Can you swim?”

  I nodded.

  He pulled something from his pocket and held it out to me. My jaw dropped. “I think you're braver than you think you are.”

  The tiny figurine weighed heavy with my emotions. Linus sat with his thumb in his mouth, holding his trusty blanket. Such a little thing shouldn’t have made my heart cannibalize my fear like it was doing.

  “Where did you get this?”

  They didn’t sell toys at school, collectible figures included.

  “The mysteries of the internet.” He grinned. “Come with me.”

  I found myself bobbing my head. “I need to get my bathing suit.”

  When his sexy smile flashed wickedly, I added, “I draw the line at skinny dipping.”

  “Fine,” he said. “Let’s get your suit.”

  I was too mystified at his gesture; I didn’t ask him what he planned to wear.

  Less than an hour later, I stood on the edge of the boat with Tade standing next to me.

  “One, two, three,” he counted.

  We jumped hand in hand and plunged into the chilly water. I sputtered when I came up. When he surfaced, he shook his hair, sending freezing water to rain down on me.

  “C-C-Cold,” I said.

  He swam closer and gave me a kiss that warmed me to my toes.

  “You’ll get used to it.”

  Then he dunked me. When I came up, I said, “It’s on.”

  After water games, we ended back on the boat, tangled in each other. As if by fate, we fit perfectly.

  My body felt like summer in the middle of a desert. I rolled on top of him, needing his cool skin against me. It did nothing but fan the flames inside me. His hands wrapped around me and stroked down my back. When he reached my hips, he pulled me tighter against him. Between my bikini and his shorts, there wasn’t much separating us. His hardness pressed against my thigh and poked at my center.

  That little contact caused a desire so foreign to well up inside me. I almost ground against him.

  As he continued to kiss me, my breathing became ragged. If his hands had slipped inside my bottoms, I didn’t think I would have had the will to stop him.

  “Shit,” he said, looking at his Apple watch. “I have to get back. I have to be at practice soon.”

  I should have been relieved, but I wasn’t sure I was. To hide the fire in my cheeks, I rolled off of him.

  “I’ll go pull up the anchor,” I said.

  After I’d gotten off of him, my eyes had drifted downward. There was no hiding his erection. If I hadn’t left, I would have stared at it like a dog in heat.

  Friday, Tade had plans with his friend. Megan dragged me out of the house, claiming that I hadn’t seen the sun outside of walking to class and back.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, staring at stars and grumbling underneath my breath about not seeing the sun.

  “I heard there is a get together.”

  I let her drag me into one of the co-ed dorms. I hadn’t expected to see Tade. And he wasn’t alone.

  31

  TADE

  Gavin dragged me to a party in one of the underclassmen dorms. It was a hall party with all the rooms open and drinks flowing.

  I’d been sitting on a bed sandwiched between some girls. Guys sat on a nearby desk and some stood around. I’d glanced up to see Biscuit, her accusatory eyes wide with the wrong idea.

  I jumped up fast to chase after her when she disappeared from my view. She hadn’t run, so in a couple of strides I caught her arm and spun her around to face me.

  “It isn’t what it looked like.”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Her eyes were like artillery trained on me, ready to fire.

  I was tired of playing games. I wanted this girl with every fiber of my being. Which was why I was ready to bolt from that room before she’d come.

  “Doesn’t it?”

  Somewhere in the distance I thought I heard Gavin shouting. He and Megan were probably going at it, but I didn’t care.

  She glared at me. “I guess you’re used to girls flinging themselves at you, including me. I’m sure you have a good
laugh about it.”

  She twisted her arm this way and that to break free from me, but I wasn’t letting go. I moved closer, leaning in a little. “Let me prove it to you.”

  The challenge in my eyes should have been plain to see. I dared her to give me a chance.

  If she’d been related to Superman, I’d have been cut up by laser beams. “You and I want different things.”

  Slowly, I let the smile form like I was drawing it on my face. “I want you.”

  Our mouths crashed together as if finding each other like guided missiles. Her taste, her touch, drove me insane. I stepped her back, flattening her tiny body into the wall. She curled a leg around mine as I kissed her like she was oxygen.

  “Keep it moving, people,” a voice rang out like a megaphone. “This isn’t an X-Rated hall—take that somewhere else.”

  I pulled back, drinking in air, never taking my eyes off of hers, which crinkled in the corners, filled with amusement. She grabbed my hand and twined her fingers with mine.

  Surprising her, I pulled her back into the room I’d been in.

  “Hey everyone, this is my girlfriend Reagan.”

  Everyone greeted her or waved, even the girls she’d been jealous of.

  “We’re headed out. Thanks for the beer.”

  The guy in the corner tipped his head in acknowledgement. I pulled her out into the hall. We briefly stopped, so she could whisper something in her friend's ear.

  I couldn’t exactly ask Gavin what the hell was going on, but we traded looks. His expression suggested that he was fed up. Yet he hadn’t taken the opportunity to leave while Megan was distracted. He may act indifferent, but I knew better. My girl turned back to me, biting her lip. My dick wanted in her so fucking bad. I hurriedly moved us through the exit doors.

  “Your place?” Her mouth expelled a cloud of frost.

  There wasn’t a certainty that this night was heading in the direction I craved—my bedroom—still, I said, “That’s cool.”

  We hadn’t gotten far before she brought up the subject of my introduction of her to the people I’d been hanging out with.